Endings and New Beginnings
by wisdomblackorchid2.0
Summary: This is a sequel to Red Winter. Steve finally retired but Bucky wants to do something more with his life. Natasha arrived and the three of them try it out what it means to be a family. (Romanogers/ BuckyNat)
1. Chapter 1 - Meadows and Hills

Bucky stands in the middle of a meadow, the light breeze gently whipping his hair back. He has his hands inside his jeans' pockets as he watches the sun slowly lowers down and hides itself behind a distant hill. To his right side is a treeline that continues on into a forest and to his left stands a two-storey country house. It's an old house but recent renovations sure cheered it up a lot, making it decent and habitable.

It has been eight months since they rescued Natasha in Austria and they all seemed to have gone back to normal. Clint's back with his family, taking in Wanda under his wing again. Sam is back in DC and based on his last message to Steve, he is currently dating a _dynamite _woman. Then he and Steve made a few changes too after that, the most drastic of them all was Steve deciding to leave Brooklyn and buying a property miles and miles away from the city. He remembers the day Steve brought him to the property for the first time.

_"How could you even afford this?" Bucky asked, his eyes wide in amazement as he looked around, seeing the vast land, the hills and forest that surround them. "I thought you used your army back pay to buy that Brooklyn apartment."_

_"I sold it and believe it or not, this is - Tony. I finally took his offer," Steve replied with a soft smile._

_Bucky looked at him with eyebrows raised, "That's nice of him. Still apologizing to you, I see."_

_"I guess."_

_"Everyone knows about this?"_

_"No, not everyone. Only four people and I'd like to keep that circle small."_

_Bucky smiled and nodded at Steve in understanding._

_"Come on, let's look at the house. I'll even let you choose your room first," Steve said and they started walking towards the house._

_"Thanks for this, Steve," Bucky said, a heartfelt smile on his face._

_Steve clapped him on the shoulder and said, "You're family, Buck. You know that. It's your home too. I just hope a room is okay with you. I can't give you your own hut like T'Challa. But if you want, we can build a gazebo there, and get you goats and sheep too. I didn't peg you for a farmer but, hey, whatever floats your boat, right?"_

_Bucky's cheeks reddened, knowing Steve is referring to his life back in Wakanda, and tried to hide his slight embarrassment with a chuckle. "Hey, I make a pretty decent farmer. We might just try that here!" They both broke into laughter as they entered the house._

"Hey, it's your turn to make dinner!" a voice shouts from a distance.

Bucky snaps out of his reminiscing when he hears Steve's voice from the house, a little muffled and easily carried away by the sunset breeze. He turns around and starts walking back to the house. He goes straight to the kitchen and starts whipping up a mac 'n cheese from a box. Steve grabs their beers from the fridge and goes out to sit on the porch to wait for their dinner. After ten minutes, Bucky joins him, hands him his bowl and sits next to him.

Steve and his team's rescue of Natasha brought them back under the authorities' radar that different intelligence agencies and even the army asked if they can come back in. Fury didn't dismiss the idea but Steve was resolved that he is _retired_. Well, that was until the day someone knocked on their Brooklyn apartment and when Steve opened the door, found himself face to face with the President himself. Needless to say, after that quick and most definitely risky visit, Steve's resolve swayed a little. Out of respect for his Commander-In-Chief and appreciation for the lengths the President underwent just to change his mind, Steve managed a compromise - he agreed to change his status from retired to semi-retired.

_"What about you, Sergeant Barnes?" the President asked Bucky._

_Bucky didn't answer immediately. Not that he didn't know what his decision is, but he was just taken aback to be addressed by the President himself. Finally,he managed to reply, "I'm not sure yet, sir. But a semi-retirement is fine for me at the moment."_

_The President gave him a small acknowledging nod to which Bucky replied with a smile._

Their semi-retirement status keeps them away from combat missions but not from round table discussions and consultations with Fury, the army, other intelligence agencies and even with the President himself, especially Steve. Well, mostly Steve. For the past eight months, Steve's been called in twelve times, twice at the White House. Bucky knows it's going to take some time to adjust to this arrangement but he knows Steve looks forward to establishing and settling on a setup where he can pursue a life as Steve Rogers and still serve his country whenever he is called upon.

It is different for Bucky though. The more he tries to settle into a quiet life, the more he becomes restless. He knows it wouldn't be easy but he can't erase the thought that it didn't quite feel right for him. It didn't feel right that he gets to sit and bum around. He tried shaking off the feeling at first, not wanting Steve to see how uncomfortable he is. Not that he is not happy and grateful to have his best friend and memories back, but it slowly became clear to Bucky that they have different lives to live now.

"So, what do you think of the idea?" Bucky asks Steve before shoving a spoonful of mac 'n cheese in his mouth.

Steve finishes chewing his food before answering, "Honestly, I haven't really thought of it."

"You haven't thought of it or you won't think of it?"

Bucky opened up an idea to Steve a couple of months ago, something took Steve by surprise. They got in a bit of a debate and Steve, not wanting to hurt Bucky, asked if he can think about it for a while. Bucky agreed because Steve's opinion is dear to him.

"Look, I understand, Buck," Steve says. "You feel you don't deserve a quiet life. I used to feel the same for myself." He takes a sip of his beer, his eyes grazing the setting sun just behind the hills across their front porch.

"Yeah," Bucky replies with a heavy sigh, his eyes too, wandering far beyond the treeline. "But like I said, it's a little different for me."

Steve looks at him with a sad smile, "I guess so."

Bucky takes a deep breath and shifts in his chair to face Steve. "You felt you didn't deserve this because in your head you should already be dead, along with everyone else you knew. That's not true you know? If there's someone who deserves this win, it's you. Remember that."

Steve chuckles, "You're not the first person who told me that."

"Well, whoever that first person is, he knows what he's talking about. If you're not going to listen to me, listen to him," Bucky chuckles too as he takes another sip.

"It's a _she_," Steve corrects him with a proud smile. "_She _said the same thing. And yeah, it's not a good idea to contradict _her_."

A big smile slowly spreads across Bucky's face, becoming fully aware of who Steve's talking about. Bucky raises his bottle in salute, "I'll keep that in mind."

After a while Steve speaks again, "You may not feel the same for yourself now, but I hope someday you will. I just want you to be happy, buddy."

"I know," Bucky nods with a reassuring smile. "We maybe just kids from Brooklyn, but life has led us to different paths. The world sees you as a hero while they see me as a mons -,"

"Bucky," Steve tries to cut him off. But Bucky keeps smiling.

"It's alright, Steve. Denying it is not going to help me."

"We both have killed people, you know."

"You killed _bad _people, Steve, _bad _people, I can't say the same for myself," Bucky replies with a sad smile before turning his eyes back on the hills. Steve looks at Bucky and his heart breaks again for his best friend's soul. Bucky's a broken man, one who no longer holds any kind of hope for himself because he's too far gone for any form of redemption, that not even the great Captain America can save him. This is something Steve will never get over with, something he'll never be able to forgive about himself.

"You should paint that," Bucky says while pointing at something afar. Steve follows where his finger's directed at and sees that the sun's almost gone and the sky's in a beautiful blush of peach, orange and purple. Steve can't help but smile at it.

Bucky's been dealt with bad cards and Steve believes that it is his fault. Bucky may already see himself irredeemable but not to Steve. He will save Bucky a thousand times if he has to. Choosing him over the Accords was just the beginning.

"You're right," Steve remarks, but he's not referring to the sky. "The world sees you differently, but not I. You're my friend and whatever you decide on, I'm with you 'til the end of the line."

Bucky smiles again. They clink their bottles together and finish their beer at the same time.

"We should stop saying that you know, it sounds cheesy," Bucky complains with a soft laugh.

"Cheesy? I got it from you, jerk," Steve quips back with a teasing smile. Bucky shakes his heads, grinning from ear to ear. He starts clearing the beer bottles on the floor and heads for the door but Steve stops him.

"Woah, not so fast, buddy," Steve says with his a grin on his face too. "We're not done talking yet."

Bucky exhales, slumps his shoulders forward and hangs his head. He knows what Steve's referring to and it's a topic he's been trying to avoid for the past months.

"You still won't talk to me about the idea I told you, so it's just fair that I won't talk to you about _this one_."

"Won't or can't?" Steve challenges him, his grin wider and his eyebrows raised. "It's been eight months since that very mysterious and not to mention, intimate breakfast you two had, I'm just curious! You can't blame me! I thought you're my best friend! You used to talk to me about your dates all the time!"

"Well, for one, it wasn't a date and two, I feel like I need to ask for _her_ permission first," Bucky answers and continues to pickup the beer bottles.

Steve only shakes his head with a very huge teasing smile then says, "Fine, I understand. You two keep your little secret. But you're gonna have to tell me at some point. Don't me make pull rank on you. On both of you."

"You're retired!"

Steve smiles coyly and says, "Semi."

"Besides she's a spy! She doesn't fall under your command."

"But she's an Avenger," Steve quips back and points himself, "and I'm kind of the leader. So technically -"

"Whatever," Bucky shakes his head with a laugh and disappears inside the house.

_Author's Note: I don't know about you, but I always liked the idea of Steve Rogers putting down the shield and getting to experience life not just as Captain America but as Steve Rogers. I'd like to think that Steve defined Captain America and not the other way around. :) _


	2. Chapter 2 - One retired guy & two spies

Two weeks later, Steve and Bucky drive into a small town several miles from their house. Along with the real estate property, Steve also bought an SUV to get him around. He still has his bike that he takes for a spin once in a while and reserves for special trips. They park in front of a diner and go inside. Steve spots a corner booth at the far end wall of the diner and they take it. They give their orders to the waitress, who is trying so hard to keep herself from blushing when Bucky called her 'doll'. Steve shakes his head and tries to hide his smile.

"What?" Bucky asks, acting innocent. "She is!"

Steve raises his arms in surrender, "I didn't say anything."

"I'm not gonna stop just because you got a girl," Bucky defends himself.

"I don't expect you too," Steve chuckles. "And, I don't have a girl. So, I'm more than okay to be your wingman. I might just ask Sam for pointers -"

Bucky looks surprised. He props his elbows on the table to lean in closer. "Wait, what happened to Sharon? Didn't you just go out on a date a month after we moved?"

Steve shakes his head and says, "Nope. I'm not doing this, not until you spill on you and Nat-,"

"Oh, Come on!" Bucky says in excitement, almost yelling.

"Fine," Steve surrenders and keeps a small smile, "It didn't work anymore."

"What do you mean? You're on your phone all the time, texting her!"

"It's not -," Steve tries to explain but stops abruptly to gather his thoughts. It takes him a few seconds before speaking up again. "Thanos, the snap, that last fight changed everything. It changed me - somehow. When I started wanting, planning things for myself she suddenly didn't fit anywhere anymore. And believe me, I tried to find her a place, you know that, you saw that I tried, but, I don't know what happened." Steve finishes with a defeated shrug. "Don't worry, it was amicable."

Bucky studies Steve. He's sad that his best friend, who managed to save the world time and time again, couldn't get a win in the relationship department. But what puzzles Bucky is that Steve doesn't seem heart broken at all. There's sadness, sure, Sharon is a nice woman, she's Peggy's blood, but Steve's not too shaken about it.

"Sorry, man. I guess fate does have its own way of putting things in perspective for us, right?" Bucky simply says in an attempt to salvage the mood from getting too sullen. Bucky's relieved when Steve smiles brighter. "Don't worry, someone's out there for you."

Steve shrugs his shoulders again, "If you say so. But I'm not holding my breath."

Moments later their order arrives and they start eating. Bucky keeps glancing over his watch. "He's not usually late, right? You said eight, it's almost nine."

Steve shakes his head and speaks in between chews, "No. He has impeccable timing, always. You saw that before. I respect that about him. We're just early."

Bucky looks at Steve puzzled. Steve finishes chewing, swallows his food and takes a sip of his coffee before continuing, "He said nine, but I thought making him look like a slacker will change your mind or at least rattle your resolve. Which brings me to my question, _have _you changed your mind?"

Bucky smiles at his friend's unexpected slyness. They've know each like the back of their own hands, but he must admit, Steve's changed in certain aspects.

"Man, you've been hanging around spies too much," Bucky teases and Steve only shrugs.

"Speaking of the devil with an eye patch," Steve whispers. Bucky turns around to see the super spy enter in his usual all-black ensemble, minus the trench coat. Good thing there are only at least three other customers in the diner to bear witness to these three strangers huddle in a corner booth. But Bucky's sure the entire town will learn of their visit before the clock even strikes noon. In towns like this, something this strange will spread like wildfire. Soon Bucky finds himself staring up at Fury who stops and stands by the end of their table.

"Cap," Fury greets Steve. They shake each others' hand. Steve's not overly friendly or excited to see him but their mutual respect is definitely there.

"Nick," Steve greets back with a courteous nod but formal tone in his voice.

_Fury seems to take no offense,_ Bucky observes.

Then Fury turns to Bucky and suddenly Bucky doesn't know if he should offer his hand. Good thing Fury makes that decision for him. A small smile eases into Bucky's tensed face and gladly accepts Fury's handshake.

"Scoot," Fury orders Bucky and he slides down the couch to give Fury some space. Why Fury chose to sit next to him is beyond Bucky. He just tries to relax which he realizes isn't really that hard to do, even if he is almost rubbing shoulders with Nick Fury. He's scary and intimidating as hell, but Bucky's dealt with far worse people before and he has seen enough of Fury's actions and demeanor to conclude that he's not bad at all. Besides, Steve seems to trust him enough.

The waitress comes around to pour Fury his coffee and they wait for her to walk away.

"So, to what do I owe this pleasure, Cap?" Fury goes straight to the point, keeping his eye on Steve as he sips his coffee.

"Actually, it's Bucky who wants to see you," Steve replies and leans back on the couch.

Bucky holds his breath as Fury shifts in his seat and turns to face him. Fury's eyebrow is raised and a genuine surprise glimmer in his eye.

"Really? And why is that, Sergeant Barnes?"

Bucky relaxes his shoulders and takes a deep breath first before responding, "I - I want to go back out there."

Fury doesn't react at first, but keeps his eye on Bucky. Bucky's not easy to intimidate but this is a first for him. He's glad to be sitting down because he thinks he just felt his knees wobble. He's never one to back down from a stare down, but man, it feels like the Winter Soldier in him is two seconds away from cowering under Fury's scrutinizing eye. They didn't exactly interact when they were all in the Facility eight months ago so he's a bit fazed to be at the receiving end of Fury's glare.

Steve watches the two from across the table. It was months ago when Bucky opened up that idea to him and he was honest enough to tell him that it made him uncomfortable so it would take time for him to process. Actually, Bucky didn't need his permission. He's his best friend, not his parent but still, Steve appreciated the fact that his opinion mattered to him. It took a while and a few a consultations with his devil's advocate until he acquiesced to the idea. But now, as he too waits for Fury's response, he finds a small part of him is hoping that Fury would decline, no matter how much he knows that Bucky _needs _this.

"Okay," Fury says bluntly before shifting again in his seat to face Steve. He takes another sip of his coffee.

Steve lets out a big sigh, whether it was of relief or disappointment, no one knows.

Bucky opens his mouth to say something, then closes it. He simply stares at Fury with complete disbelief in his face. He rapidly shakes his head, still not believing what just happened. He leans closer to Fury.

"Okay? Just like _that_?" Bucky blurts out. Fury turns to look at him again, with amusement in his eyes. "No questions, no contention, no conditions? "

"Oh, there _are_ conditions."

Bucky and Fury both look at Steve. Steve raises an eyebrow at his friend. "What? Do you think I'm just going to standby knowing that you're going to work for this man? You don't know him. No offense."

"None taken. Okay, Cap. Lay it on me," Fury matches Steve's slight enmity.

Steve leans on the table. "First, no forcing him to take on jobs he's not comfortable with."

"I don't think that would be a problem, Steve. You know I'm comfortable with a _lot_ of things," Bucky quips with a boyish grin which disappears quickly as soon as he sees the seriousness in Steve's face.

"Okay, anything else?" Fury asks.

"Total disclosure on info, on intel for every assignment. Enough of your compartmentalization," Steve says sternly and crosses his arms on his chest. "If you're good with that, then we're good."

Fury gives Steve a smirk then he turns to Bucky. "Look, I know he outranks you but you'll let him speak for you?"

Bucky smiles and responds in a heart beat, "I trust him with life. So yeah, he can speak for me."

Fury stares at him for a few moments. Bucky accepts the challenge and stares back. He finally has the guts to stare back. After a few moments, Fury finally stands up.

"Alright, then. We could have done this over the phone, you know," Fury says. "But I appreciate your old fashion ways, Cap." Steve smiles a bit. "Wait for further instructions," Fury tells Bucky. Fury turns to give Steve a farewell handshake, which the latter accepts, this time with a friendlier smile on his face.

Fury starts to walk away but stops and turns back. "One more thing, Cap. You don't happen to know where Romanoff is, do you?"

Steve shoots Fury a sharp look, his brows furrowed in concern. "You never learn, do you," Steve replies shaking his head. It's more of a statement than a question. Steve didn't shy away from showing the expected disappointment in his voice.

"I don't have control over my agents when they're out in the field, you know that," Fury answers back.

"I thought we agreed you'd give me the courtesy of letting me know when she goes out there," Steve quips, his voice slightly raised.

"What for? You know if you'd just suit up we won't be having -"

Steve cuts Fury off by shaking his head and sounding off his disbelief with an exhausted sigh. "That's not fair," Steve remarks.

Bucky watches the two and braces himself for whatever might happen next. He remembers months ago how Steve held back his displeasure over Fury when the spy broke the news of Natasha missing, but Steve's not holding back this time, not totally anyway. He anticipated a heated exchange of blames and guilt-tripping remarks but Bucky only sees a stare down. Fury, with his hands on his hips doesn't look at a disadvantage despite only having one eye, and Steve exudes authority even seated down with his shoulders squared and arms crossed across his chest. Bucky slowly starts to realize that he should probably step in to avoid things from getting out of hand. He cautiously starts to stand up but then an idea hits him hard.

"This _is _great!" Bucky exclaims. Steve and Fury break away from their stare down to look at Bucky with confusion splashed across their faces.

Bucky realizes his inappropriate remark and tone so he starts explaining. "I mean, this can be my first assignment, right? I have tracked down a lot of people before." Bucky waits for the others' reply, honestly anticipating that they would find it a good idea. But -

"No," Steve and Fury say simultaneously. Bucky opens his mouth to protest but is too astounded to make a sound. Meanwhile, Steve and Fury resume their stare down, a bit surprised at the other's reply, despite having the same one. Fury's the first to mellow down.

"Look, I'm sorry for not calling you. I assumed she'd tell you anyway," Fury admits. Steve calms down a little too.

"With what happened in Austria she knows we'd all be on our toes if we won't hear from her after a while. So, give her time. Maybe she's just in a bit of pinch right now and can't make a call. If after a couple more months and still nothing, then let's worry."

Fury still doesn't say anything. He just keeps his eye on Steve, and Bucky is sure he is scrutinizing Steve now. _But why_, Bucky thinks to himself. _Steve's not the type to lie about these things. Besides, it's Natalia we're talking about._ He looks at his best friend and is proud to see Steve not even break a sweat.

Finally, Fury gives up and gives the captain the benefit of the doubt. "Fine. But when she calls you, let me know. Good day, gentlemen." And with that Fury walks out of the diner. Bucky watches as Fury backs his black bullet-proof SUV out of the parking lot and into the highway. When his vehicle is out of sight he turns to Steve.

"Natalia's missing, Steve! We can't just sit here! What if it's like last time? What do we do?"

"Nothing," Steve replies calmly, trying to avoid eye contact with Bucky so as not to give himself and his lies away. Steve's a bit embarrassed of what he did to Fury, especially just minutes after calling out the spy for his own penchant for lying. Bucky's eyes slowly widen and his jaw drops after realizing what Steve's done. He shakes his head in disbelief and admiration for his friend.

"Damn, Steve! It's like I don't know you anymore. Two lies in one seating, really?" Bucky teases him. "So, wait, she's okay?"

"Yeah," Steve assures him.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure, Buck."

Bucky waits for Steve to say more, to elaborate about Natasha's whereabouts but Steve leaves him hanging. He watches with disbelief as Steve pulls out money from his wallet, drops a few bills on the table and starts to stand up. But Bucky stops him.

"That's it then? You're not gonna share?"

"Now you know how it feels," Steve says with a smile, trying to guilt-trip Bucky.

"Come on, Steve. This is different," Bucky tries to explain his side again. "She's comfortable hiding her location from her boss but not from you?"

"What do you want me say, Buck? You're not the only one she has secrets with," Steve replies with a naughty smile leaving Bucky speechless and surprised. Bucky only manages to gape at his best friend in disbelief. Steve smiles broader seeing Bucky's confused and blushing face. He stands up and walks towards the door.

Bucky tries to think of something to say but hesitates and contemplates about it for a moment because the last thing he wants to come across is - jealous. He doesn't have the right to be, even after learning his history with Natasha in the Red Room. He shouldn't be jealous, not now, and not of Steve. Over the past months, he slowly came to understand and appreciate the kind of relationship Steve and Natasha have and the two don't deserve loathe, especially not from him. If you come to think of, Steve and Natasha had each other when they both didn't have him. And that thought finally brings a smile to Bucky's face.

Bucky finally follows Steve outside and back inside the SUV and is now more composed to match Steve's joking mood. "Should I be jealous?" Bucky asks, now more open too to joke about his misplaced jealousy.

"I don't know, pal. Do you have a compelling reason to be?" Steve challenges him. Bucky tenses up, not anticipating Steve's strong argument. He doesn't see it but he knows he's blushing again, judging by how hot his cheeks suddenly became.

Steve turns on the ignition and deliberately lets his question hang in the air. He doesn't have any idea what Bucky and Natasha talked about that special morning, and he's not overly eager to know either. He's curious, yes, but he respects their privacy. He's sure that he'll know of it at the right time. He just couldn't help himself teasing his best friend about it, especially after observing how it made the suave and gallant Bucky uneasy and shy whenever he brings up the topic.

"I can just ask her you know," Steve continues with a smile as he backs up the SUV and heads for the highway.

Bucky's eye widen, with a bit of panic in them. "Oh, man. You wont -"

"Yeah, I won't," Steve finally says with a comforting smile.

Bucky lets out a huge sigh of relief. He shakes his head with a boisterous laughter and punches Steve playfully on the arm. The SUV swerves a little and Bucky sees Steve immediately steadies the steering wheel back on the right lane, missing a head-on collision with an incoming vehicle by mere hairline.

Steve looks at him with surprise and a '_what the hell was that_' look. Bucky realizing what he did smiles sheepishly and mutters an apology. He just uninhibitedly punched Steve with his metal arm.


	3. Chapter 3 - Look who's home

Bucky slowly opens his eyes, adjusting his sight and hearing at the same time. The faint and distant continuous ringing of the alarm clock gradually becomes louder and crispier by the second until Bucky can't take it anymore. He finally sits up and turns it off. It's six o'clock in the morning. He glances at the windows and sees light through the curtains.

It's been a week since their meeting with Fury and still no word. Bucky tries not to worry or think of it too much. Secret-keeping maybe Fury's single most expertise but not lying. He just doesn't tell you everything so he technically doesn't lie. He may have to lie occasionally but Bucky doubts that Fury would lie to them, to Steve, when he agreed to the idea of hiring Bucky as an agent, not if he wants to stay in Steve's good graces.

Bucky gets up, puts on a shirt and running shoes. He emerges from his bedroom and into the hallway. The second floor of the house has three bedrooms and two baths. Across his bedroom is Steve's. To his left is a bathroom and to his right is the rest of the hallway that leads to the third room, which is the master suite with its own bath, and then finally the stairs. Steve's not yet done replacing the master's old carpet with new floorboards and he has yet to fix the plumbing of the master bath. It was the room that needed the most repair and Steve was more than happy to take the other smaller bedroom. Bucky crosses the hallway towards Steve's door to see if he's ready for their morning run. He lightly knocks.

"Steve, you up?"

No answer. Bucky knocks again and still no answer. Bucky finds it weird because Steve usually wakes up earlier than him, earlier than his alarm clock, so this worries Bucky a little. He finally turns the knob and slowly opens the door.

"Ste -,"

Bucky stops and freezes as soon as he steps through the door. A wave of confusion, panic and delightful surprise simultaneously crash on him at the sight of Steve's bed. Someone's asleep in it alright, but it's not a blonde man with a muscular frame, it's a woman with red curls, long slender neck that curves into graceful shoulders.

_What the hell? _Bucky asks himself. His eyes dart around the room, trying to figure out what's happening or what he's supposed to do. He notices a bag full of clothes by the foot of the bed, a black, leather jumpsuit lies on the couch by the dresser along with a utility belt and a pair of black boots. Then there, by the bedside stand are two holsters, each with a Gloc in it.

Bucky brings his attention back to the redhead and finds her still asleep. He didn't think she's a deep sleeper but here she is, lying on her side, the sheets covering her all the way to her chest, one hand over it and one under her pillow, and snoring softly. Bucky can't help but smile but it quickly disappears as he realizes something. _Where is Steve? Did he -_

Bucky turns around and quietly walks out of the room, not bothering to close the door. As he reaches the stairs, his tiptoes turn into a jog and he rushes downstairs. Both the living room and kitchen are empty.

"Steve?" Bucky softly calls out. He proceeds to Steve's office/ workshop and barges in without knocking.

Steve, who is sleeping on the couch, bolts right up, full alert and ready with his fists. But seeing it's only Bucky, lowers his arms and rubs his eyes with the heel of his palms.

"She's here?!" Bucky exclaims, his eyes twinkling with excitement and confusion at the same time. He's not even sure if it was a question or a statement. Steve stands up and motions him to keep it down.

"Shhhh, Buck, you'll wake her up," Steve says, calming him down.

Bucky dials his volume down into a whisper but still sounds hysterical, "Natalia's sleeping there! On _your _bed! What is going on?"

Steve starts to fold his sheets and fix the couch. "She arrived at two o'clock this morning, she had a long drive, she's exhausted so keep it down." Steve finishes stashing his sheets and pillows in one pile by the end of the couch and heads out of the room. Bucky follows him all the way to the kitchen.

"So she knows about this?" Bucky asks, referring to the house.

"Yeah, I told you, only four people know about this place," Steve answers as he brings out a bag of bacon from the fridge and throws it in the sink to thaw a bit. Then he retrieves a pan and ingredients from the cupboards. "You, me, Tony and her. Four."

Bucky scratches his head. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"After I told you about Tony, I thought it was obvious who the fourth one is," Steve says and starts making pancake batter.

_Of course_, Bucky realizes. All this while he thought Fury is the fourth one and he feels a bit stupid and disappointed in himself for not expecting Natasha to be in that small, favored circle. Bucky finally relaxes and asks, "Does Fury know she's here?"

Steve continues to make pancakes and replies with a chuckle, "No. But she did send him a message that she's alive and breathing. Can you make the coffee? Sorry, too tired for a run."

"Yeah, sure," Buck says and goes for the coffee machine.

"You know," Steve speaks up after a few seconds of silence, swirling a batter on the pan. "You may sound shock to find her here, but I think you're more excited -"

"Of course I am," Bucky cuts him off with a sheepish grin. "I haven't seen her since that day -"

"You mean since that breakfast _date_?" Steve asks him, his teasing smile back on his face. Bucky is about to contradict him when -

"Was _that _a date, James?"

Steve and Bucky turn around and see Natasha already seated on the breakfast counter, her arms folded in front of her and her head resting on it, obviously still sleepy, but doesn't let it stop her from teasing Bucky . Of course, they didn't hear her come downstairs, enter the kitchen, pull out the high chair and sit on it. Both men are silent for a few seconds that Natasha finally raises her head to look at them. Her hair is unruly, with strays on her face, her eyes still half closed but still manages to show Steve and Bucky that she's already in a teasing mood and is waiting for a response. Steve is the first to break the silence with a smirk and soft chuckle but instead of answering, he just goes back to his pancakes. Besides, Natasha's looking at Bucky anyway.

"Yeah, Buck, was that a date?" Steve continues teasing his friend while focused on the pancakes.

Bucky can't believe his luck that morning. Did Hydra screw up with his head so much that he's now the one who can't talk to women while Steve stands there, looking cool and teasing him about it?

"So? Was it?" Natasha repeats the question. Bucky looks at her again and sees that she has pushed her stray hairs back in their place and Bucky now has a full view of her face and eyes. His heart starts to pound in his chest and ears.

_She's really something_, Bucky thinks to himself. Then he finally composes himself. He tries to look unabashed by casually leaning back on the sink, crossing his arms on his chest and clearing his throat. Finally, he manages to say, "No."

Natasha doesn't tear her eyes on him for a few seconds and Bucky, wanting to keep up appearances, looks back at her. They keep staring at each other until Steve puts down a tower of pancakes on the counter.

"Where's my bacon?" Natasha asks Steve, finally breaking her stare down with Bucky.

"You'll have it as soon as Bucky stops staring at you," Steve answers and flips a towel at Bucky. Bucky snaps out of himself and gets the bacon from the sink and prepares to fry them.

Natasha watches as the two men continue to get busy to bring her breakfast and she can't help but feel her heart swell in happiness. _I can definitely get used to this_, Natasha thinks happily as manifested by a huge girly smile on her face.

After a few more minutes, all three of them are now seated at a small round breakfast table, enjoying their pancakes, bacon, eggs and coffee. It's right beside the backdoor and a window that overlooks a well-manicured backyard and exterior garage. Steve and Natasha sit across each other sandwiching Bucky between them.

"How was the last job?" Steve asks Natasha casually.

"Good. But I think I got so used to fighting aliens and robots that spying is too boring now," Natasha replies munching on her bacon. Steve smiles at how bored and sleepy Natasha sounds and looks.

"So be ready to be bored at your new job," Natasha tells Bucky then letting out a huge yawn which she doesn't bother to stifle or cover.

Bucky looks at Steve with his eyebrows raised and mouth open.

"Who do you think convinced me to agree to your idea?" Steve replies to Bucky's silent yet obvious question.

"Who else knows?"

"Aside from us and Fury, no one else," Steve comforts Bucky. "I was uncomfortable with that idea yes, but I never said it was a bad one. I just needed to hear the pros and cons so I can give you a good opinion."

Natasha turns to Bucky with a sly grin and says, "You're welcome."

"I couldn't see your point because you're right, we've led different lives, I don't really understand what you're going through, but I realized - _she _does," Steve continues and gives Natasha a proud smile.

Bucky doesn't respond for a while. He looks back and forth at Steve and Natasha. He doesn't say it but he's a bit uncomfortable at the thought of people knowing that he's going back out there, wielding guns, tracking people, hiding in shadows. He's scared that they will only see the Winter Soldier, Hydra's weapon, and not Bucky Barnes, a man trying to atone for his sins. Bucky doesn't notice it but he has stopped eating and has dropped his fork on his plate. He also doesn't notice that Steve and Natasha are now looking at him, worried at his sudden silence, his face blank but his eyes glazed with doubt.

Bucky snaps out of his deep thought when he feels a warm touch on his hand, on his metal hand. He looks down and sees Natasha's hand on his. She doesn't say anything but one look at her face and Bucky instantly feels reassured that he made the right decision. Steve too is silent but his smile gives Bucky the encouragement he needs.

"So, James," Natasha says softly yet seriously, finally bringing him back to reality. "I have a question for you and _there is _a right answer to this one."

Bucky looks at her and waits patiently. Natasha takes a deep breath, keeps her eyes on his and asks in her most sultry morning voice, "Who makes better pancakes, Steve or me?"

Bucky lets out a soft chuckle and shakes his head. "Stop messing with me. It's too early, guys," Bucky says and casually goes back to his pancakes.

But after a few seconds he notices that he is the only one who seems to be laughing. He looks at Steve and Natasha and sees them seriously waiting for an answer. A bit of panic creeps into him as his mouth slightly hangs open. He tries to wrangle an answer and swallows his half-chewed pancake, resulting in a loud gulping noise in his throat.

"_Seriously_?" Bucky asks them.

"Did I stutter?" Natasha replies with her trademark sexy yet scary Black Widow voice and mischievous smile. Steve on the other hand, doesn't say anything but simply leans back on his chair and crosses his arms.

Bucky waits for them to cut it out but they don't look like they're going to drop it. Bucky knows they're just messing with him and he's silently laughing at himself for falling into their combined teasing pranks. He finally decides to fight back, so to speak.

"You know what, no wonder you two get along. You're a jerk," Bucky says and points at Steve first then points at Natasha, "and you're an enabler." It's Bucky's turn to look smug. He relaxes on his chair and crosses his arms too.

Steve and Natasha don't react at first. They keep their eyes on Bucky who returns a glare of his own. It's a three-way stare down.

Steve's the first one to crack. He laughs hard, throwing his head back and then bangs the table with his hands. "Sorry, Buck, I couldn't resist! You should have seen your face!" Steve manages to say in between breaths.

Bucky shakes his head at his friend and eases into a smile. "You jerk!" he laughs and throws a few pancake crumbs at Steve.

"One of these days, you're going to answer that question and I'll make sure it's one that I will like," Natasha teases him further as she takes their plates from the table and walks with it to the sink.

Bucky can't help but smile. Natasha continues to clear the table, almost dropping the coffee mugs as she avoids Steve's head who is still having a laughing fit. At that moment, Bucky remembers how it feels to be happy. He realizes he shouldn't give a damn at what people think or say about him, as long as he has the support of these two, he's going to be alright.


	4. Chapter 4 - A Widow's Move

Two days in at the Roger's Ranch, as what she calls it now, much to Steve's objection, Natasha realizes how stressed and tired she is. She's been to five missions in the past eight months, only having a week or two of respite in between. She had to admit that after her ordeal in Austria, her head is not totally back in the game yet so she thought doing small, boring assignments would help her ease back into it. But when she told Clint about it, she was surprised to get a resounding 'no' followed by a litany of 'what ifs' and worst case scenarios if she doesn't stop. Natasha may not have gone through the normal adolescent phase, with parents breathing down their teenager's neck all the time, but she sure experienced it from Clint. Natasha remembers sitting at the dining table, leg propped up on a chair and watching Clint pace back and forth, his hands on his hips as he expressed his disappointment at her decision.

Steve, too didn't hesitate to voice out his opposition to the idea. At least he didn't sound like a scolding parent like Clint did. Natasha remembers that phone conversation. Steve was still in Brooklyn and she was at Clint's.

_"You know I can't do that," Natasha said._

_"I beg to differ. You've done plenty enough, Nat," Steve said from the other end. "You've saved the world so many times already, isn't that enough, to clear your ledger?_

_Natasha took a huge breath then replied, "Maybe enough to stop it from dripping any further, but not enough to clear it."_

_"What will it take then?" Steve asks, his voice full of concern._

_Natasha tried to say "I don't know" but decided against it and simply remained silent. Steve has long discovered that when Natasha falls into silence it means she's gone hiding behind her stonewall because she's not ready to talk yet. So he didn't push for an answer, instead he just held the line and listened to her sighs and occasional sniffs. They've been through this kind of silence a lot of times before, both over the phone and in person that it already became comfortable rather than awkward. _

_Then Steve finally spoke. "You know what I realized lately?"_

_"What's that old man?" Natasha finally answered._

_"I have fought more wars with you than I did with Bucky."_

_Natasha smiled at that thought. "Sorry you got stuck with me. I guess when Fury put up that babysitting job, nobody really lined up," Natasha joked._

_"Oh, someone _**_did _**_line up - Coulson, I'm sure," Steve replies with a soft chuckle and Natasha had to laugh out loud at that._

_"Thank you for sticking with me," Steve said. "I wish I could still suit up and go out there with you, but - "_

_"I know," Natasha cut him off again. "Like you said, we've been in battlefields for years, so I know what's going on in that head of yours. And before you say what I know you're about to say, I'm going to stop you and say this, _**_don't _**_be sorry, it's not your fault."_

_"I _**_wasn't _**_going to say that," Steve said, trying to sound a little defensive in an attempt to deflect how predictable he can be, but he knew even over the phone Natasha would know his lies from truth. Natasha laughed again. _

_"I won't be with you out there, but remember, I'm here, I'm _**_always _**_here."_

_"Thanks, Steve," Natasha replied followed by sniffles and a happy smile that Steve can't see but knew was there._

And Steve being the person he is, has kept his promise. He was always there, ready to burn hours with her over the phone when she's getting bored following an equally boring target, always on his toes to have sassy and witty banters with her through messages to amuse her or pass the time, willing to lie and cover for her against Fury, and his biggest gesture, opening his home, offering her a permanent place in his life.

Clint has done the same for her way before she even proved her worth, but Clint's family is growing now and Natasha believes that Wanda needs to be surrounded and guided by a loving family now more than her. It sure did her good all those years ago and she wants the same for Wanda. Of course, she'd always be welcome at the Barton's farm, but she found it comforting to know that she has another home, another family to come home to. A part of her still thinks she doesn't deserve any of it but knowing that good things rarely come for someone like her, she seizes them whenever she can.

Natasha snaps back to the present and focuses on her task. She's at the edge of Steve's land, a few yards away from the forest. She started her morning by installing motion and audio sensors around the perimeter, and it is a _big _perimeter. Steve said it wasn't necessary but with Bucky's vote, Steve was overruled. Natasha remembers Bucky's winning argument over breakfast, "It's better to have it and not need it rather than need it and not have it."

Natasha laughs as she finishes installing the last sensor. She turns it on and waits for its signal to be read by her receiver. After it did, Natasha walks back to house, relishing the gentle breeze and not minding the hot midday sun. She stretches her limbs once a while. _I need a massage_, Natasha reminds herself.

She's almost at the house when she sees something that brings another huge smile on her face. Her Corvette is clean, gleaming under the sun. She did have a long drive coming here and the travel has worn her and her Corvette out. She goes inside the house about to ask who cleaned her car. But seeing Steve inside his office, earphones in, immersed in his own world as he paints, Natasha holds back her tongue so as not to disturb him.

Then Bucky appears by the stairs half naked, hair still wet and Natasha immediately knew her question has been answered. She controls herself as she secretly gawks at his physique, remembering how it used to feel to be against his chest and enveloped in a warm hug even with a cold metal arm. She watches as Bucky reaches the last step and puts on his fresh shirt. Unfortunately for Natasha, Bucky catches her staring at him from the stairs and up to the moment he popped his head out his shirt.

"Why are you looking at me like it's the first time you've seen me naked?" Bucky teases her.

Good thing Natasha's trained to quickly recover her guard _all _the time and under _any _circumstances. She slowly walks towards Bucky. It's her game. It always has been.

Bucky knows he's about to be teased by probably the most gorgeous woman he has ever known, so he prepared himself mentally. But now that she is right in front of him, eyes fixed on his, their noses almost touching, Bucky just finds himself melting away.

"Yeah,_ I_ remember the first time I saw _you _shirtless, but tell me, do _you _remember the first time you saw _me _naked?" Natasha asked, one hundred percent in a teasing mood.

Bucky tenses up as he stares back at Natasha's green eyes. He suddenly wonders how he managed to keep his cool around her when they had to keep their romance in the Red Room secret back in the day. He can't remember those days but he is sure, it felt exactly like this.

_This is it. I'm so into her_, Bucky silently admits to himself.

She may have been outside and under the sun but she is still irresistible that Bucky lost whatever mental defenses he had earlier and now suddenly finds himself fighting every urge in his body from wrapping his arms around her. He's doing great so far until Natasha bites her lower lip and nothing else flooded into his head other than the thought of kissing her. And he might have surrendered to the urge if not for a loud croak that tears up the tension in the room.

Bucky takes a step back, like a man who just stepped out of a trance, and sees Steve leaning against the doorway of his office, his arms crossed in his chest and an eyebrow raised.

"Do we have to setup flirting rules in the house?" Steve asks playfully, hoping to embarrass his two friends. Bucky blushes immediately while Natasha simply grins.

"He started it. He was walking around the house naked. So how about making rules on _that_," Natasha quips back and heads to the kitchen. But before totally disappearing in the hallway, she pops her head back in the living room.

"Thanks by the way," she says to Bucky.

"For what?" Bucky asks.

"For cleaning my car and for _that," _Natasha replies still with a naughty smile. "I'm out of practice. Nice to know I'm still good at it." She turns to Steve, "I'm still good at it, right?"

Steve flashes a grin and nods. Natasha smiles back before disappearing into the hallway. When she's gone, Steve turns to Bucky but before he can say anything, Bucky's already viciously scratching his head.

"Man, that was close! I don't know what would have happened if you didn't - aaarrrggghhh!" Bucky says in a low voice, obviously embarrassed.

"Calm down. It's over," Steve says. Bucky sits on the couch, elbows on his knees and his hands on his face.

"What happened to me, pal? Do you ever remember me losing my cool like that with a dame before?"

"Not really. Though I remember Peggy shutting you down, but _this _\- this is _way _sadder than that."

Bucky lets out a soft chuckle at the memory of Peggy in that red dress that night at the pub. "I know, right? I swear, Steve, that woman is going to be the death of me."

Steve laughs. Bucky looks at him, a bit offended that his best friend finds his plight funny. He waits for him to speak up and finally Steve says, "Sorry. I wasn't laughing at you. It's just, can you imagine how many guys have said that before and then _actually _dying at the Black Widow's hands."

What Steve said effectively eases Bucky's nerves that he starts laughing too.

"Just out of curiosity though," Steve continues. "Do you _remember _the first time -"

"You're not helping, pal," Bucky looks at Steve in disbelief. "You know I don't exactly have my memories of _that _or of _her _in that context."

"But I thought you talked about it?"

"Yeah, but not in detail."

"But you do want to remember, right?"

"What do you think?" Bucky replies with a boyish grin on his face. Steve relaxes a bit to see Bucky regain composure. Bucky continues, "Maybe I'll ask Shuri's help again some time."

"You're going to be fine. Just don't think about it too much."

"Don't think about it? Are you crazy! That's probably the _only _thing I'd be thinking about for a while!"

"I know. I've been there. But still try," Steve says and heads back in his office. "Distract yourself. How about starting on a vegetable garden until we get you goats."

"Ha-ha! Very funny," Bucky sneers at Steve. "Wait, _you've been _there?"

Steve only gives him a knowing smile before closing his office door, leaving Bucky confused again.

Bucky's thankful that dinner isn't as awkward as he expected it to be. It seems like he's the only one who's expecting it to be. So relaxes as he again sits between Steve and Natasha. It's Natasha's turn to make dinner and while she admits and warns them that she's more adept in killing people than killing it in the kitchen, Steve and Bucky still think her chicken pot pie is delicious.

"Laura taught me," Natasha says. "It took three failed crusts but hey, practice makes perfect."

"Well, we know you don't need practice on _one _thing," Bucky says as he shoves a spoonful of pie in his mouth. Steve and Natasha look at him with their eyebrows raised and see that Bucky's finally recovered from his embarrassment earlier that is now confident enough to joke about it. Bucky looks at Natasha and gives her a wink that makes Natasha smile and roll her eyes at the same time. Steve laughs at them.

"So, you guys going tell me about it or not?" Steve asks bluntly.

"Steve," Bucky says but Natasha cuts him off.

"Wait, he hasn't told you yet?" Natasha asks in genuine surprise and looks at Bucky. Bucky only shrugs and shakes his head 'no'. "What? A bit shy telling your friend here that we had history together?"

"Well, our history isn't exactly an easy thing to talk about."

Natasha keeps looking at him with an eyebrow raised and says, "Why? Because he's a 100 year old virgin? You don't have to worry about Steve. He already knows a lot about sex. More than you realize."

Steve shakes his head, "You know what, Romanoff?"

"Uh-oh... you know you only call me that when you're about to pull rank on me," Natasha quips back at him with a coy smile before turning to Bucky again. "Anyway, why haven't you told him yet?"

"Honestly?" Bucky starts to explain. "I feel like he should hear it from the both of us. Actually from _you, _while I sit there beside you or something."

Natasha smiles and nods a bit. She nervously looks at Steve who only shrugs his shoulders at her. Natasha looks at the crumbs on her plate and thinks for a while. Bucky's right. She has kept this secret from Steve even when she knew he had every right to know the moment he discovered Bucky is alive. So in a way, she owes Steve an explanation and it is high time for her to come clean. She owes the man her life, he doesn't deserve to be lied to, not by her.

"Besides, you have all the details. I'm afraid I won't be able to tell it right," Bucky continues.

Natasha reaches for his hand and gives it a comforting squeeze. "Memories aren't about details. You know that. You didn't have the details but all those emotions lingered, didn't they? Describing how a memory makes you feel is more effective than remembering the whos, the whens, or the whats."

Bucky nods in agreement and smiles at her mischievously, "Like, I may not really remember how you look like naked but I know I feel excited and happy about it?"

"Bucky -" Steve starts to call him out for his inappropriateness but Natasha beats him to it as she twists Bucky's fingers that she still happens to be holding.

"Aw, aw, aw," Bucky protests at the pain in his flesh hand.

"It's not exactly what I meant but close enough," Natasha says calmly.

"Then why still twist my fingers?"

"You deserved it," Steve blurts out.

Natasha turns to Steve, a bit serious now. "You still want to know?"

"The story, yes. The details, no," Steve answers with a boyish grin. Natasha relaxes a bit.

"Why don't we finish up here then we can get cozy in the living room?" Bucky suggests.

"Good idea," Steve agrees and they start cleaning up their dinner.

_* Author's Note: In my head, Bucky Barnes somehow regained some of his 1940s boyish cheekiness. _


	5. Chapter 5 - The Tale of Two Spies

After clearing up the kitchen, Steve, Bucky, and Natasha now sit in the living room. Steve's actually surprised to see that neither Bucky nor Natasha stalled in the kitchen. He expected them to, thinking that their nerves would get the better of them but then Steve realizes that he's actually the one who is nervous. Steve admits he was a bit hurt when he had to learn of this secret past from Bucky when Natasha had every opportunity to open up about it ever since the events in DC. But he has learned not to take Natasha's secretive nature personally, because he knows and understands why she turned up like that. Years of being a spy taught her that for her to survive, she has to keep her guard up all the time. And Steve's proud to see how far Natasha has come from that unreadable and detached person that she was.

He watches as Bucky sits down, comfortably leaning back on the couch with a boyish smile, while Natasha sits criss-cross beside Bucky, looking relaxed but keeps wringing her fingers. Steve tries to hide a smile but Natasha notices it.

"What?" she asks.

"You're nervous," Steve replies and points out her fingers.

"Congratulations, you know me so well," Natasha quips back with smirk.

"Apparently not," Steve says. Natasha's face changed and Steve can tell she's bothered and ashamed by what he said. "Sorry. That was uncalled for. I didn't mean -"

"I'm really sorry, Steve," Natasha cuts him off. "I thought not telling you about James would make it easier for you to move on. But the truth was, I was thinking more of myself. It scared me to open that chapter of my life and discover that I have been lying to myself, that in truth, I haven't gotten over it yet."

"I understand," Steve comforts her. "And you're okay to talk about it now?"

"Yeah," Natasha replies softly. "I owe you, remember?"

"I told you don't worry about it, _remember_?" Steve tells her with a reassuring smile and waits for her to start. Natasha takes one last look at Bucky before turning to Steve and starting the story.

"Ready?" Natasha asks Steve playfully one last time and Steve responds with a firm nod.

Natasha takes a deep breath and starts. "I was sixteen when the Winter Soldier was sent to the Red Room. Hydra arranged that he be sent to takeover and oversee the last phase of our training before graduation. Out of the twenty eight girls that were there at the beginning of the Black Widow program, only six of us were left alive to train with him. The cream of the crop."

Steve knows of the Red Room and what it did to little girls like Natasha, what it did to her. It took a while before Natasha talked to him about it and when she did, details often came vague and in piecemeal. With a bit of help from Clint, he finally put two and two together and gained a clearer picture of Natasha's life there. And now that he's hearing it from Natasha herself, Steve realizes that he will never get over the fury he has to the people responsible for her suffering and who made her believe that she doesn't deserve good things in life.

"We were given initial training when we were younger but it became the real deal when he arrived. For two years, he trained us in combat, weapons - gun and knife specifically - stealth and -," Natasha continues but stops after getting distracted.

Steve bows his head down to hide his smile but fails to stifle a chuckle. He senses Natasha staring at him. "I'm sorry. I promised myself I will not interrupt but something just popped in my head and it finally made so much sense."

"What is it?" Bucky asks.

Steve turns to Natasha and starts explaining. "Remember the first covert mission we had? We were on a rooftop and you sat there by the edge with a rifle in your hand, eye on the scope. I saw you locked in that position and I thought it looked familiar, and now I know why. You shoot rifles like him," Steve explains, ending with soft chuckles.

Bucky sits ups. "Wait. That depends, is she good with it?"

Natasha slowly turns her head towards Bucky with a deadly glare and eyebrows raised. Bucky can't help but smile. Under any other circumstances and had Bucky been any normal jerk, he surely won't survive the night, not after that glare from Natasha. But lucky for him all he gets is a pillow smacking him square in the face.

Steve watches the two from his seat and realizes that watching Bucky and Natasha interact these past days has been one of the most amusing and fascinating things he has witnessed so far.

"What do you _mean _if I am _good _at it?! Of course I _am _good at it!" Natasha shouts as she continues to swing the pillow at him. "Tell him, Rogers!"

Steve stops laughing for a bit to answer, "Of course she is!"

Bucky shoots his arms up in surrender. "Okay, I believe you!"

Finally, Natasha drops the pillow and crosses her arms across her chest, keeping her glare at Bucky. Meanwhile Bucky shifts on his spot on the couch that he's now halfway facing Natasha. Steve looks at his best friend with a tight smile on his lips and a quick shake of his head. Bucky replies with an overconfident shrug. Steve tries to bring their conversation back on track and asks, "Was he a good teacher?"

"I don't know. You tell me?"

Steve smiles, realizing how Natasha used his question as payback at Bucky. Steve leans back comfortably and says, "Well, you can hold your own and can keep up with me so, yeah, he _is_."

Bucky doesn't say anything but gives Steve a huge smile and two thumbs up. Steve simply shakes his head and tries to hide a smile again. His best friend is either too stupid to mess with Natasha or he's too confident that Natasha wouldn't hurt him. Bucky immediately puts his hands down when he sees Natasha turning to look at him.

"Don't be smug, James," Natasha says coldly but followed by a soft smile.

"Why do you call him James?" Steve asks. Natasha turns to look at him and for a second Steve thinks Natasha's going to be mad at him for keeping her from continuing her story with his questions. But she doesn't seem to mind.

"For a year everyone just referred to him as the 'soldier' but the day came that I no longer wanted to," Natasha says.

"Because you were starting to have a _crush _on me, _right_?" Bucky again teases her.

Steve squeezes his eyes shut in anticipation of another 'pillow attack' from Natasha, but is surprised to hear Natasha speak in a tone that he didn't expect.

"That's right," Natasha says softly and shyly. "So were you, jerk."

"I don't remember the exact moment, but I _remember the feeling,_" Bucky says but this time Steve notices he's not teasing. Bucky's blushing and avoiding eye contact with Natasha. _A shy Bucky? _Steve asks himself in disbelief.

"Anyway," Natasha continues and Steve gives her his full attention again. "One night, I sneaked into one of the offices where they keep their files on us. I found his and saw his name. That's all I got because - I got caught."

"Sorry again," Bucky says softly at her.

"I got punished the next day but, it was worth it," Natasha says with a smile for Bucky.

"Hold on. That file -," Steve starts to ask but Natasha answers him before he finishes his question.

"The same file I gave you in DC. After dismantling the Black Widow Program, I went back there to get our files before setting the place on fire."

"Did Fury know you have them all that time?"

"No. I gave _my _file to Clint and I kept James'. I just had to pull a few sheets out before I gave them to Clint and to you," Natasha replies and waits for a cue from Steve if he wants to go on.

Steve lets out a deep sigh and feels his jaws tighten a bit. He fails to hide his disappointment in his face this time, realizing again that Natasha could have come clean back in DC before going their separate ways but still chose not to. He takes a moment to digest everything he has learned so far and he slowly starts to discover why he was the one nervous going into this conversation - because he wasn't sure if he's ready to learn how many secrets still exist between him and Natasha.

"The story's just about to get ugly, you still want to continue?" Natasha asks him, her tone concerned. Bucky sits up straight this time and looks at him with a reassuring smile.

_She must have seen the disappointment on my face_, Steve thinks to himself before nodding at her.

Natasha takes another deep breath and continues. "Not long after that James and I started meeting in secret. He would sneak into my room at night and well, needless to say, we didn't spend our time staring at the moon," Natasha says.

Steve's cheeks redden and he tries to hide it from them but to no avail. Both Natasha and Bucky notice it but decide not to make a big deal of it to spare Steve from further embarrassment. They simply wait for Steve get ready for the next part. Finally, Steve raises his head and motions Natasha to continue but it's Bucky who speaks first.

"Hey, you forgot about the handcuff," Bucky tells Natasha.

"Right. Don't worry, Steve. It's not like what you think -"

"Why, what do _you think_ I'm thinking of?"

Natasha smiles proudly at how good Steve has improved in catching her teasing cues and quips. He still has much to learn, but still, he can finally confront situations like these without his cheeks burning red.

"They used to handcuff us to our beds at night. To make sure we don't escape," Natasha reveals in a sad tone. "That's why our first meeting had to be in my room, because I didn't know how to pick the lock yet. After he taught me how, we kind of already felt secured in my room so we continued meeting there. Before James came, I have been handcuffed to that bed _every _night for _fourteen _years," Natasha's voice quivers a bit and she stops to swallow the lump in her throat.

Steve looks at her with sadness in his eyes but remains composed knowing that Natasha wouldn't like it if he shows any form of pity. He sees Bucky reach out his metal arm to Natasha to gently rub her back. Steve smiles.

Natasha finally regains her poise and proceeds. "I've been sleeping with the feel of metal on my hand for so long that I couldn't sleep without it. James would hold my hand with his metal arm the entire night so I could finally experience sleep without a leash, so to speak."

"When I heard that, I was relieved to know that I didn't just use _this _to choke you," Bucky jokes and starts to playfully poke Natasha's knee with his metal finger. Steve chuckles at Bucky and the fact that he doesn't seem to be afraid of teasing Natasha throughout the conversation.

_Maybe it's his way of reducing Natasha's anxiety, knowing how potentially painful this whole process could be for her, _Steve concludes. Steve smile as Natasha takes Bucky's metal hand in hers and holds it on her lap. He looks at Bucky and sees him to be enjoying it.

"You haven't outgrown it. That's why you still keep clutching a gun under your pillow sometimes," Steve says.

"I didn't think you noticed," Natasha jokes. "So, things were good for a while. He trains me in the morning and takes care of me at night. But life then decided to crap on us because you know, things aren't crappy enough," Natasha says sarcastically then looks at Bucky before continuing, "almost a year later, they finally caught us."

Natasha has a natural talent in projecting a strong facade, but Steve observes that she's not doing that tonight. As a matter of fact, she's fighting every urge to hide behind her stone, cold wall.

"Someone snitched on you?" Steve immediately asks, hoping it would keep Natasha focused on the story and prevents her from breaking down.

"Honestly, until now, I don't know."

"Then what happened?"

"They took him away and I never saw him again -"

"Until Odessa," Steve cuts her off. Natasha shakes her head.

"Taking down the Red Room took years and not surprisingly, it brought me to Siberia," Natasha replies, her eyes fixed on Steve.

"The same facility we -"

Natasha nods and confirms before Steve finishes his question again.

"I didn't really know what to expect in that place but then I saw him, in his cryotube," Natasha continues. "Without thinking it through, I decided to take him with me, drag the whole cryotube if I had to. But the guards caught up with me. And then, knowing that they're no match against me, they opened his cryo and woke him up."

"And you still don't remember that?" Steve asks Bucky.

"Oh, I do remember that," Bucky says.

"I thought he'd recognize me but _then _he opened-fire a semi-automatic machine gun on me," Natasha says and playfully twists Bucky's metal fingers which she's still holding on her lap.

"Sorry," Bucky says again softly, letting Natasha vent out her emotions on his metal fingers.

"I was emotionally compromised and couldn't fight him so I fled. That's when I started telling myself that James is dead."

A hundred questions are circling in Steve's head but he decides to hold them off as he catches a glimpse of tears escaping Natasha's eyes, which she immediately wipes away. Bucky grabs the tissue box by the side table and offers it to her.

"You know, I _was _actually technically dead," Bucky says, trying to lighten the mood again.

"Yeah, but not until we met in Odessa and you shot me. _Again_," Natasha says and this time she lets go of Bucky's metal hand and goes on hitting him again with the pillow. Steve watches as Bucky doesn't attempt to defend himself this time and just lets Natasha use him as a punching bag.

"How come he doesn't remember anything about the Red Room? He's been wiped over and over but still remembers his paper route when we were eight," Steve asks.

Natasha finally stops hitting Bucky with the pillow and explains, "They re-calibrated their machine that it won't just suppress his short term memory, which during the time they wiped him, contained the two years he was in the Red Room, but rather totally obliterate them, singed." Natasha pauses and turns to look at Bucky with pain in her eyes. "That was to punish me."

"I don't understand."

"James and I reminded each other of our humanity, Steve. That we were more than just weapons. In those documents I removed from his file, they said, he tried bargaining with them, his utmost compliance in exchange of his memories of me. But for them,_ I_ needed to be punished because I _reduced _their greatest weapon into human. So they erased those two years in him, in an attempt to invalidate what we had and then left me to deal with the pain on my own."

Steve's speechless and he can feel his chest tightening in anger, in guilt, in pity, in grief. He's not sure if he wants to know more but questions begin to pound harder against his head, demanding to be let out. So he starts gathering his thoughts, as he watch Bucky rubs his metal arm up and down Natasha's back to comfort her while she sits tight, her eyes on her hands which she continues to wring._ She's shaken and she's not used to the feeling_.

Steve doesn't know which is worse - not to get to live your life because you're suspended in ice or get to live it the way Bucky and Natasha did.

Steve chooses his next question carefully. Answering it will not be easy but he feels like it's something that needs to be discussed for Natasha and Bucky's sake. He puts on a brave smile and asks, "Was it love?"

Steve holds his breath as both Bucky and Natasha immediately look at him. They're a bit stunned by the question, not because it's the last thing they expected him to ask but because they're not sure what their answer is.

"Like what I told James, I'm not sure, maybe because I was too young to know back then," Natasha replies with a chuckle but then continues with seriousness, "but what _we had _made me _want to live. _Until they took it away from us, from me, and _that _made me _wanted to kill _them all.

"And you _did_. It's over," Steve says.

Natasha replies with a smile. But one that doesn't bear any pride. She made the people responsible for her suffering pay with their lives even though she knew it wouldn't give her any lasting satisfaction. She got her revenge but lost her soul. She continued to live without any hope for redemption or salvation.

A sudden wave of relief come over Natasha as she finally reclines against the couch. She then releases a huge sigh and lets her tensed muscles loosen up. Natasha and Bucky warmly smile at each other, as if congratulating themselves that they've finally done it, they've finally told Steve. It feels like a huge thorn has been plucked out of their chests and they can breath again.

Steve notices the change in Natasha's face. He can't quite describe it but it's like a huge black veil has been finally lifted off of her face and he's now seeing her again for the first time, he's seeing the _true _Natasha for the first time. He didn't realize before how soft her facial features are and how bright the green of her eyes actually are. She's been through so much that Steve has to remind himself that she's just in her 30s.

"They asked me why I didn't use an alias when I started dismantling the Black Widow Program or going after the people from the Red Room so I didn't get a target on my back," Natasha continues. She's now slouching on the couch, looking so relaxed that Steve starts to wonder if it is the first time he's seen her _this _placid.

"Why didn't you?" Steve asks.

"Because I wanted them to know it was me. I wanted to piss them off _so much _that they'd be forced to pull out their big gun on me. I hoped they would send you after me," Natasha says and points at Bucky.

"But they didn't," Bucky says. "I would have remembered it."

"They probably figured out that it was part of your plan so they didn't give you the satisfaction," Steve deducts.

"Yeah," Natasha simply replies with a sigh. "Should have used a moniker."

"Yeah, like 'The Huntress ' or 'The Winter Bite," Bucky enumerates, his teasing mood rejuvenated.

"What? Eeww", Natasha protests.

"The Winter Widow," Steve interjects.

"_Ooooh_, I _like _that, the Winter Widow," Bucky agrees with a grin on his face.

Natasha rolls her eyes and sighs. "You two are idiots."

"And yet you chose to hang out with us. Guess who's the real idiot," Steve teases her.

"Wow, Rogers. If I didn't know how lame you used to be in making jokes, my knees would be on your throat now. But I remember when no one laughed at your 30s humor that I'm actually proud you tried to pull that joke - on _me_."

"I had a good teacher," Steve smiles at her.

"Awwww... that's sweet. But really, Steve, I didn't have to teach you _sass_. You always had it in you. You just needed to let it out."

"Sassy Steve! I knew it!" Bucky says and laughs out loud. It's Steve's turn for an 'attack' and starts throwing pillows at Bucky one after the other.

"Hey! Not fair," Bucky screams and raises his metal arm to shield himself. "Don't _throw _those like it's your _shield_! Damn it, Steve!"

Steve doesn't stop. Bucky tries to catch the flying pillows with his metal arm but Steve is relentless as he starts to throw other stuff too. So Bucky surrenders and lets Steve have his fun. Steve only stops when there's nothing else within his reach to throw and Bucky's already buried underneath a pile of pillows, old newspapers, magazines, a blanket and even a cushion that Natasha saw him grab from underneath him, half dismantling the couch he is sitting on. That's when Natasha lost it and she started to roll on the couch laughing.

"Are you done?" Bucky asks from under the pile, his voice muffled by all the stuff on him. Steve doesn't say anything but Bucky takes his chuckle as a 'yes' so Bucky slowly removes the things on him until he finally emerges. He looks at Steve and says, "There will be payback soon." Steve only gives him a smug smile and shrug. Then Bucky turns to Natasha and sees her hiding her face flat on the couch, controlling her giggles.

"Oh, was that funny to you, doll?" Bucky asks her with a fake annoyed voice.

Natasha sits up and faces Bucky. Her face is damp with sweat and tears from laughing that hair strands are plastered here and there. She stops giggling and puts on her trademark smirk. "Yes, that was funny. _Problem_?"

Steve watches the two bicker and again he can't help but be fascinated by their relationship, especially now that Steve knows there's more to Bucky and Natasha not just individually, but together as well. He can't help but feel happy because like him, Natasha got Bucky back, she got her James back. He still has a lot of questions in his head but he decides that the rest of the details of their past don't and won't matter anymore. He's more interested to know what or where the former lovers stand now. But that's a question for another day, he doesn't want to ruin this moment, especially not what happens next.

Steve sees Bucky holding back his laughter while Natasha has her smirk. Then Bucky grabs a pillow and hits Natasha square on the face. When the pillow drops, Bucky roars in laughter. Steve's about to laugh too but holds it off when Natasha launches off and grabs Bucky in a headlock. It isn't a serious headlock, otherwise Bucky would have fainted already. Natasha's clearing just messing around and Bucky continues laughing.

"Alright, stop it you two. Please, don't tear my house down," Steve finally untangles the two. Bucky slumps on the arm rest, out of breath not because of the headlock but of laughing too hard and Natasha sits back on her spot with a huge, naughty smile on her face. Steve sits between them with a smile.

"Are you alright?" Steve asks Natasha.

"Shouldn't you be asking me that? I was the one in a headlock!" Bucky jokingly complains and Steve playfully punches him on his side.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Natasha says softly, her eyes twinkling not with her usual tease but with happiness, a real one, Steve is sure of that.

"Anything else that I need to know?"

"Well, unless you want to know the details of every kill I had in the past or what James and I did under the sheets everything he snuck in my bedroom, then, _no_, that's the last of my secrets, at least from you."

Steve smiles and nods, satisfied but asks, "What about Budapest?"

Natasha chuckles and replies, "Oh, I would _love _to tell you about that but it's not _totally mine _to share. If you get Barton's blessing, then sure, I'll tell you _all _about Budapest."

"Then I'll ask his blessing," Steve teases her.

"Be my guest. Clint likes you, but I don't think he likes you _that much yet _for that story," Natasha says with a coy smile.

They smile at each other for a while, silently reaffirming their friendship. Steve used to be so hung up on his past that he just saw right through people and things in his present, including Natasha. For him, she was just another agent, another partner to work with in the field. But when challenging times came, she stuck around, went miles and beyond for and with him that Steve woke up one day and the thought of a life without her by his side gripped him with fear.

"Thanks for telling me," Steve whispers to her.

Natasha moves closer to him to rest her head on his shoulder and whispers back, "Sorry for keeping it from you. Now you know every bit of me."

Steve smiles and turns to Bucky. Steve chuckles when Bucky gives him two thumbs up.

_* Author's note: I don't know exactly the details of Natasha's Red Room years, so the things I wrote here about that, pretty much like this entire fanfic, are based on my assumptions and imagination. Peace!_


	6. Chapter 6 - Babysitter

Five days have passed by since their talk, or as what Bucky calls it their 'dynamite dinner reveal'. Natasha rolled her eyes at him for such a lousy name. Things went normal, as normal Steve hoped they would be, and by normal meant Bucky and Natasha firing teases and flirtations at each other. Steve tried refereeing but soon gave up, realizing that it's Bucky and Natasha - the former is her childhood best friend who made almost every woman in Brooklyn swoon with his smile and the latter is an ex-assassin highly trained in the art of seduction. It's like watching two wrecking balls colliding at each other.

"At least I don't have to worry about you two getting along," Steve said one morning when he found the two locked in a seducing stare down in the kitchen.

Steve has managed to ignore the two when they're 'playing' so he doesn't really know who's winning. He's just hoping the two will not take their flirting game to the next level because when that happens, then he'd definitely be uncomfortable in _his own_ house. So he warns them one night.

"Just don't do something that would make me kick you out of my house. I'm serious," Steve told them.

"Aye, aye, captain," Natasha said coyly while Bucky acknowledged with a salute. If he's being honest with himself, when things get out of control between that two, Steve actually sees himself to be the one walking _out _of _his _house, embarrassed. Steve shakes off the idea. Right now, he's just making sure that he gets to enjoy each day with his two favorite people.

During the day Steve busied himself with either painting or picking up on repairs around the house. There's still work to be done, especially in the master suite upstairs and in the garage. Bucky helped by doing small repairs like replacing hinges in the kitchen cabinets, cleaning the gutters, painting the porches, replacing light bulbs, etc. Natasha continued installing security devices around the house and setup Steve's computer so he remains hooked up to the system in the Facility. He thought about protesting but remembers Bucky's argument on the perimeter sensors.

They would often sit in the living room after dinner, either playing board games or watching a movie. There was a night Natasha made them watch a horror movie that made Bucky confused. He said why would someone even bother doing such a movie in the first place. But Natasha saw right through him - he acted confused but in truth, he was scared. Steve had to agree because he did see the plates on his metal arm whir and move multiple times as he clenched his fists tight, keeping his guard up as he anticipated for scare moments in the movie. Needless to say, Natasha used it as an advantage in their daily bickering.

There were afternoons when they would spar outside. It was Bucky's idea saying that he needs to prepare for his first mission. Steve doesn't show it but he's anxious of the day when Fury finally makes contact telling Bucky or Natasha or Bucky AND Natasha to come in.

This actually has been keeping him awake for the past nights and now as he thinks about it again, an idea hits him. He jumps out of his makeshift couch-bed and quietly walks upstairs and into his bedroom. He finds Natasha on her back, the sheets mid-way her body and one hand under the pillow.

He had the misfortune once of having a gun pointed at his face because he didn't know yet how to _safely _wake Natasha up in the middle of slumber. So he designed a strategy. He would hover one hand over the pillow that conceals her hand clutching the gun, ready to push and pinch it down if necessary, while only using his other hand to shake her if calling out her name isn't doing the trick.

"Nat, hey, wake up," Steve whispers close to her face. "Nat come on. Natasha -"

She finally stirs, opens her eyes and lets out a groan the instant she recognizes Steve. At that moment Steve knew that Natasha finally lets go of the gun under her pillow. She rolls to her side, turning her back on Steve.

"What do you want, Rogers?" she asks.

"That's not fair. I never asked you that question when you would call me at two o'clock in the morning because your stake-out was boring the hell out of you."

"Sorry," Natasha grumbles and taps the space of the bed in front her.

Without hesitating, Steve goes around to the empty side of the bed and lays down on his side, facing Natasha. "I was thinking -"

"You're not supposed to be thinking anymore, Steve. You're retired," Natasha says in a low, hoarse voice keeping her eyes closed. She knows Steve is laying in front of her, she can smell his toothpaste.

"_Semi," _Steve quips back. "But hear me out, it's about Bucky."

Natasha slowly peels her eyelids open and looks at Steve with her sleepy eyes. "Of course it is. Hit me."

"Babysit him," Steve blurts out with his eyebrows raised in excitement.

Natasha only stares at him for a while, her eyebrows furrowed, trying to gauge Steve's expression and processing the idea in her head. Then she takes a deep breath.

"Steve, did it ever occur to you that James might have more experience in this kind of job than the two of us combined? He was already out there while you were still iced and _way before_ I was even born. He doesn't need a babysitter," Natasha tries to make her case.

"I disagree. You see, all those years he was out there, that was the_ Winter Soldier_. When he gets his first assignment from Fury, that will technically be his first as_ Bucky Barnes._"

Natasha finally opens her eyes wide and stares at Steve's worried face. _He makes a valid point, _Natasha tells herself. "You know he'd always be the Winter Soldier. It's sad but he will never be able to separate himself from that. You have to learn to accept that."

"I _know_. Just like you'd always be Black Widow. But you see my point. I know you do. He needs guidance, at least in his first few missions."

"You're forgetting I was actually _his _student -"

"Nat, please. It's your turn to teach him. He's never been Fury's agent."

"You know, Fury and I have similar methods."

"I know. But I trust _you more_," Steve whispers with a smile, a smile he reserves when he's deliberately charming Natasha into agreeing with him.

Natasha knows that smile and she remembers the multiple times it swayed her resolve before and ended up agreeing with Steve, no matter how idiotic she thought his plans were._ I taught him well, _Natasha tells herself.

"Alright. Knock that smile off of your face. I'll talk to Fury about it."

Steve's face brightens up and says, "What smile?"

"You know you could have just pulled the _'you owe me_' card," Natasha jokes. "Saved us the trouble of a banter so we can go back to sleep sooner."

"You know I'll never use that card on you."

Natasha smiles and says, "Thanks. Can we go back to sleep now?"

"Yup!" Steve agrees and gets comfortable on the bed by laying on his back and getting under the covers. When he's finally tucked in he turns to Natasha. "I miss my bed."

"Hey, you're the only one who wanted to sleep in the couch in the first place," Natasha reminds him and laughs softly as she goes back to her previous position.

"Good night," Steve whispers.

" 'night, old man," Natasha murmurs and in no time falls right back to sleep.

The next morning, Steve finds Bucky preparing breakfast.

"It's my turn, right?" Steve asks.

Bucky gives him a knowing smile and says, "Yeah, but I figured you must be tired from last night."

Steve looks confused.

"Oh, come on man, I found you halfway from spooning her -," Bucky teases Steve but is cut off by Steve's laugh.

"Oh, that? Don't be jealous of that, it's kind of normal for us," Steve says as he pours himself a cup of coffee.

"Explain."

"We were on the run for years after the Accords fell, remember? We bounced around a lot, trying to stay out of cities, out of sight, using forests and abandoned warehouses as cover for the jet, which means the four of us had to cram inside the quinjet most nights. I had to sleep between Natasha and Sam because she couldn't stand his snoring, says it sounds _weird_, like he's gargling or something," Steve explains, chuckling a bit at the memory.

"Then why were you sleeping on the couch all this time?"

Steve shrugs his shoulder and says, "We're not exactly crammed here, right?"

Bucky gives him a smile and goes back to the stove to finish the eggs. Steve starts putting bread on the toaster when Bucky turns to him again, pointing a ladle at him. "I'm not jealous," Bucky says.

Steve doesn't face him but replies, "Whatever you say, Buck."

"Okay, fine, maybe a little bit," Bucky finally admits and they both laugh. They turn around when they hear Natasha come in.

"Oh good, you're having a good time, because vacation's over. I've been called in," Natasha says as she sits by the counter. "And he told me to bring you." Natasha points at Bucky.

"He knows you're here?" Steve asks.

"No. He told me to get in touch with you and setup a pick up or something. We need to be there tomorrow lunch."

Bucky's face turns serious. He purses his lips and nods in understanding. Both Steve and Natasha can see Bucky's mood change but they pretend not to notice. Steve gives Natasha a knowing look, reminding her of their agreement the night before. Natasha acknowledges him with a reassuring nod.

"I want a runny yolk today, mister chef," Natasha tells Bucky, hoping to keep Bucky's mood from plummeting.

Steve and Natasha both know that Bucky's a bit afraid, not of the job but of _himself_. They know he has all the makings of a proficient field agent but they also know that there's still the possibility of Bucky being mentally and emotionally compromised. The possibility may be small but it's still a possibility, so Steve's right, Bucky needs someone to hold his hand out there for a while.

Steve watches as Natasha and Bucky set up the table and shrugs off the worry. He will deal with that later. Right now, he's going to savor every minute of this breakfast because he knows it will be a while when the three of them are seated at that table again for a hearty breakfast.

The next morning, Steve wakes up earlier than usual to prepare and pack sandwiches for Bucky and Natasha. Sure, they can just go for a take out or a drive-thru on the way to the Facility, but he wants to do this for them. Soon enough he finds himself in the driveway, saying goodbye to his best friends.

Bucky and Natasha were busy preparing that morning so the three of them didn't exactly get the chance to talk and Steve knew they had to be on the road soon to make it to their meeting on time. Natasha could have ordered a jet to pick them up but she knows Steve seriously wants to be off the grid so she just prepared herself for a long drive.

"Be careful," Steve tells Natasha as they hug each other goodbye.

"Keep the porch light on for us?" Natasha asks of Steve with a bittersweet smile.

"Always," Steve replies with a huge, comforting smile. Natasha leans in and kisses him on the cheek.

"Good luck, man," Steve tells Bucky. "Please don't do anything stupid."

Bucky laughs. "I can't promise that, but I'll try," he says playfully and gives Steve a last hug.

Steve steps back on the porch and watches as the two get in the Corvette and then disappear on the highway. Steve heads back to the front door but stops to see the sun finally peeking out behind the hills. Steve smiles.


	7. Chapter 7 - First Assignment

They've been driving for an hour now and almost halfway through their trip. Bucky realizes how far- flung Steve's house is from the city and wonders what made Steve decide to live in seclusion.

"Can you open those sandwiches?" Natasha asks from behind the wheel.

Bucky rummages through the paper bag Steve gave them earlier and sees four peanut butter jelly sandwiches. He opens and hands Natasha one. He suddenly realizes he is hungry too, so he opens one for himself.

"We should get you a phone," Natasha says while chewing on her sandwich. She rarely takes her eyes off the road to glance at Bucky.

"Sure. It'll be handy for work."

"Not just for work, silly," Natasha smirks.

"And who would I call when I'm not working? You, Steve, and I will be at the house anyway."

"T'Challa, Shuri... I'm sure they'd be happy to hear from you," Natasha says and Bucky smiles in agreement. "You can call Sam, too."

"What for?" Bucky asks, finding the idea ridiculous and unnecessary .

"Don't be like that, James. I happen to think you two can actually get along pretty well. You just have to give it a chance," Natasha explains.

"I guess," Bucky replies softly, realizing the possibility of the idea. "Sure, I'll call him when I get a phone."

"Let's call him now," Natasha says and even before Bucky can protest, he already hears Sam's voice on the other end of the line. Natasha has him on speed dial.

"Hey! How's my _favorite _redhead doing?" Sam asks cheerfully.

"You know I'm always fantastic, Sam," Natasha replies in her usual teasing tone. "Someone here _wants _to talk to you."

Bucky shoots Natasha a glare, his eyes and mouth wide open in disbelief. Natasha glares back at him, telling him to man up.

"Who?" Sam asks. "Is Steve there with you?"

"Ahmmmm... no. It's another 100-year old man but, no, not Rogers," Bucky says nervously.

"Oh, _you_," Sam says and continues, "how are you doing, man?"

Bucky swears he heard a slight disappointment in Sam's voice but decides to ignore it. He purses his lips before responding, "You know, okay, I guess." Bucky notices Natasha glancing at him every few seconds. He meets her eyes this time and receives another encouragement.

"Really? That's it? That's what you got for me?" Sam asks.

Bucky panics a bit, squeezing his brain for something to say. After grasping straws he blurts out, "I'm actually on my way to see Fury."

Natasha looks at him with surprise. When she motioned for him to keep talking, she didn't mean to talk about _that_. Not that there's anything wrong sharing the news with Sam, she trusts him. She is just concerned what and how Sam's reaction will affect Bucky. She grips the steering wheel a bit tighter as she waits.

Sam is silent for a few seconds that it makes Bucky uncomfortable. Bucky looks at Natasha accusingly, blaming her that it was a bad idea to talk to Sam in the first place. Natasha rolls her eyes at him.

"Look, you probably think it's a bad idea -,"Bucky finally breaks the awkward silence.

"I didn't say that, man," Sam says.

"But what do you think?"

Sam goes silent again for a while then says, "I don't know what to think of it, but _I hope_ that it will help you."

"With what? Redeeming -"

"No," Sam cuts him off. "Help you find your _purpose_."

It is Bucky's turn to be silent. He stares at Sam's name on the phone screen as he feels his chest tighten and his shoulders stiffen. He has never thought of that before. For the longest time, all he wanted was to atone for his past sins but hearing what Sam said made him feel something he has never felt for a long time - hopeful.

Atonement is the Winter Soldier's goal and maybe, just maybe, finding a purpose _can _be Bucky Barnes'. The soldier would always reside in him, the cross that Bucky has to carry forever and maybe the two of them can help each other. Bucky discovering his purpose, may just be the kind of redemption the Winter Soldier needs.

"Hello? Barnes?" Sam's worried voice snaps Bucky out of his thoughts.

"Yeah, I'm here. I just... what you said..." Bucky stammers.

"Just throwing in my two cents. Hope it's worth something," Sam says with a chuckle.

"Thanks, man," Bucky says. Sam doesn't see it but there's a huge soft smile on Bucky's face now. "It's nice talking to you."

"That's what I do, brother!" Sam says. "Get your own phone and we'll talk more _or better yet, _get your ass here in DC more often, then we can have a beer with that talk."

"I will. Thanks again," Bucky promises.

"Anytime. You too, gorgeous," Sam calls out to Natasha. "I want to introduce you to my girl."

"You know that's not a good idea, Sam. You know how I make other women insecure," Natasha jokes.

"I know. But don't worry, this one isn't easy to scare."

"I _bet_. The fact that she continued dating you says a lot."

Sam laughs out loud. "God, I miss you, guys. Let's set something soon, alright?"

"Sure. 'bye Sam."

" 'bye gorgeous. And good luck, Bucky," Sam says and ends the call .

Natasha gives Bucky a sweet smile and says, "Awww... he called you _Bucky_."

"Fine, fine, you're right. He's nicer than I thought," Bucky admits.

"That's not really want I want to hear," Natasha says with a teasing smile.

Bucky smiles back and says, "I know._ Thank you_."

Natasha nods in satisfaction and continues to speed off.

It's almost ten o'clock when they arrive at the Facility. They have plenty of time to rest a bit before facing Fury. So they go straight to the living quarters but the old room Hill assigned to Bucky eight months ago is now empty. He goes to Natasha's floor and knocks on her door.

"My old room is empty."

"Take Steve's room," Natasha suggests and points at Steve's room across hers. Bucky agrees and settles in as Natasha goes for a quick nap. Not having else to do or talk to, Bucky lies on the bed and thinks about what Sam said. _Purpose_. The word swirls around his head and fills him with excitement. Fifteen minutes later Bucky falls into sleep with a smile on his face.

After a quick lunch, Bucky finds himself and Natasha in Fury's office. It's on the third floor of another building but like the rest of the floors in the Facility, it has glass walls from floor to ceiling. He looks around and notices Fury's furniture - a desk, two bookshelves, a small round conference table with four chairs, one long center table, two solo couches, and a four-seater leather couch - all of which are made from hard wood with leather upholstery. He sits down on one of the solo couches as Natasha casually plops on the long couch and lies completely face down.

"Didn't you _just _have a nap?"

"Leave me alone," Natasha says, her words made inaudible by the leather cushion against her face.

Bucky kneels down beside her and gently gathers her hair in a bunch before pushing it off of her face. "Hey, have you told Steve we're here?"

Natasha nods. Then the door swings open and Fury comes in, his stride graceful but purposeful. He's halfway through the room when he stops and turns to find his two agents - one lying face down on the couch and one kneeling down beside her with an awkward smile on his face.

"Don't you drool on my couch, Romanoff," Fury blurts out and goes to his desk.

Natasha finally stirs up and leads Bucky to the two seats in front of Fury's desk. They sit patiently as Fury clears his desk for a moment before handing Bucky a dossier.

"You're first assignment, Agent Barnes."

Bucky opens the folder and reads through the papers. After he finishes a page, he hands it to Natasha to read.

"Two months ago, a programmer from NSA sneaked out a highly classified software," Fury starts briefing them. "When his corpse was recovered behind the dry wall of his house, the flash drive containing the software was no longer in his possession. And then two weeks ago, we traced the flash drive with that guy, David Moss, lawyer."

"What's the software? And how did you trace it?" Bucky asks coolly, as he continues to read off data from the dossier.

A proud smile flashes across Natasha's face. _He's asking the right questions, _she thinks with pride. After a few seconds and still no response from Fury, Bucky finally looks up to face him and sees Fury looking back at him with a satisfied smile.

"What?" Bucky asks, bewildered. He looks to Natasha for clarification and sees her looking at him too, with a pleased expression. Before he can ask again, Fury continues his briefing.

"It's a virus. With regards to what it does, the Agency made clear it's not necessary to share that information so I didn't ask. Five days ago, the Agency got a notification that the software was plugged in, without deploying the virus, thank god. They pinged it's location in Illinois. We sent a team and found Moss in possession of the drive."

"Why not grab the guy already?" Bucky asks.

"We looked into his phone- I mean, _hacked _into his phone," Fury corrects himself, as a gesture of keeping his end of the bargain he struck with Steve of total disclosure, "and discovered he is auctioning it off. He'll be meeting with his top three buyers in a week in Nevada."

"I guess I'm going to Vegas," Bucky says with a grin on his face.

"Yes. You'll leave in two days. Your objective is to follow Moss, _observe _the meet up, identify which of the buyers will bring home the bacon and tag them."

"And Moss?" Bucky asks.

"He'll be taken care of. You follow the new owner of the item and we'll go from there."

"What about the other buyers?"

"Don't worry about them. We don't want to ruffle too many bad feathers with this one. This is a surveillance mission, Barnes, nothing more. You _comfortable _with that?"

Bucky smiles and nods. Then Fury turns to Natasha, "And you, Ms. Romanoff -,"

"I want this case," Natasha cuts him off.

"Which case?"

"_My _case?" Bucky asks her.

Natasha turns to Bucky and nods. Bucky holds her gaze and tries to read her motives from her green eyes. There's a small smile on her lips but it doesn't help him decipher her expression at all.

"It's not up to me," Fury finally says. "Barnes?"

Bucky's confused about a couple of things. First, he's wondering why Natasha chooses to join a _boring _case. Steve finally admitted to him that it was Natasha, not Sharon, who he was constantly talking to and messaging all those months because Natasha was bored and needed something to keep her sane while in missions. So why choose to _be bored _when Fury probably has other options lined up for her. Second, he's confused why he suddenly have this uncertainty about her. He has felt many things towards her and uncertainty has never been one of them.

Bucky doesn't turn to Fury when he answers. Instead he keeps staring at Natasha. "Sure. Why not. Besides, who would want to go to Vegas alone, right?" Bucky says in a playful tone but looks unsure.

"Alright, then, off you go," Fury orders them.

Following Natasha's lead, Bucky stands up and heads out of Fury's office. They go back to the living quarters without saying a word to each other. He actually doesn't plan on talking to her just yet. He needs to get a grasp first of what exactly it is he is feeling before he can confront her. He's not sure whether he is hurt, disappointed, or angry. But the one thing he's sure of is, he _is _suspicious of her now, something he can't remember ever feeling towards her before and he doesn't like it. He starts to wonder how in the world did Steve deal with her before.

They reach their floor and they both go straight to their doors. Natasha turns and breaks the silence between them. "When you're ready to talk, just knock," she says without any expression on her face and then disappears behind her door.

In his room, Bucky paces back and forth. They're going out on a mission in a couple of days and they can't go out there with this tension between them. He knows that in this line of work, trust would be always an issue among agents and suspicion is like a vulture that keeps hovering, looming over its prey, waiting for the right time to finally pluck its eyes out. But the thing is, he and Natasha are not ordinary agents and he doesn't want this to be the cause of their falling out, not now when he just starts feeling complete again, having the last piece of his past back with him. He stops pacing and walks out of his room.

He goes straight to her door and knocks. "Come in," Natasha says from the behind.

Bucky opens the door and closes it behind him. Natasha sits at the foot of her bed, expressionless.

"Are you calm enough to talk to me?" she asks.

"I guess. So - what was that about? I mean don't get me wrong, I love being around you -"

"So what's the matter?"

Bucky scratches his head as he chooses his words carefully. "I feel like you just want to keep an eye on me."

"Is that bad?"

"Look, I know you won't admit it but you're worried, I get it. Sam's worried, Steve's worried -" Bucky suddenly stops as a look of realization flashes all over his face. He shakes his head slowly as a final attempt to deny what he just realized as the truth. Finally, he lets out a soft chuckle and looks at Natasha, every string of suspicion in his head lost and gone.

"Steve asked you, didn't he" Bucky says calmly.

"Steve's retired. Let's not drag him in this, okay?" Natasha says, still with a poker face and tone to hide two things - confirmation to what Bucky discovered and her relief that he's not angry at her anymore. She surprised herself earlier when she found out that getting the cold shoulder treatment from Bucky bothered her tremendously.

Bucky smiles and raises his arms in surrender. "You're right. Sorry," he says. He walks towards Natasha, his nerves much calmer now with his usual charm back in his eyes. Natasha doesn't flinch. "Look, I really appreciate you guys looking out for me. But I don't need a chaperone in this mission, Natalia. You know what I need?"

"What?" Natasha asks, almost like a whisper.

"How about a partner?"

Bucky gives her the most charming, boyish grin he's ever had in months that it finally breaks her poker face.


	8. Chapter 8 - Chances, Closure,Catastrophe

Maria Hill is at the hangar, supervising the agents as they prepare the quinjet. She remembers eight months ago when she met Bucky up close. He may have been instrumental in Natasha's rescue that time but it wasn't enough for her to fully trust him. Hill hopes this arrangement with Fury will finally change that.

Back in the living quarters, Bucky takes one last look at himself on the mirror. He is in a black, leather tactical vest, black pants, and black boots. He remembers what happened when he tried them on last night and showed it to Natasha.

_He had his goggles and muzzle on when he knocked on her door and she frowned as soon as she saw them and that _**_both _**_of his arms were in sleeves. She led him inside her room and as soon as the door shut closed, she stood close to him. His heart started to pound as she gently removed his goggles and threw them on the floor. Bucky felt his knees trembled as she looked deep into his blue eyes. Then she pulled off his muzzle and threw it on the floor again. She cupped his cheeks in her hands and stroked his skin with her thumbs._

_"You need a shave, James," Natasha laughs and teases softly, feeling his stubble._

_"Do I?" Bucky asks with an equally teasing smile._

_"No, not really. I don't mind," she replied and chuckled._

_She lowered her hands to his left arm and traced the sleeve of his uniform. She took out a small blade from her weapon case and used the serrated edge to cut off the sleeve. He looked at her and she saw the doubt in his blue eyes._

_"Hiding isn't going to help, darling," she said and her words bore deep in his soul. "They know who you used to be. Now show them who you _**_can _**_be."_

_Bucky smiled and kissed her forehead._

_She's right, _Bucky remembers. I _can _be more. I _am _more_._

He makes a last few adjustments on his vest, pushes his hair back then picks up his bag before heading out of the room. He goes to her door and finds a note that says she has gone ahead to have a last chat with Hill. They've already gone through the plan with Hill last night but he admits, one last sweep of checks isn't a bad idea. To get to the hangar, Bucky has to walk from the living quarters through the offices and then the training center where he finds Natasha, also in her uniform already. She stands in a balcony overlooking a huge training room below.

"Hey," he greets with a smile.

"Hey," Natasha greets back without looking at him.

He walks to her side and sees new recruits halfway through their afternoon sparring session. The training room is big enough to fit two to three quinjets to give the trainees enough space for combat simulations.

"I remember one time we were practicing a maneuver here where I would jump on Steve's shield and he would boost me up in the air where Sam's supposed to sweep in and grab me."

"Sounds fun, but one question - _why_?"

"Steve and I once did that boost thing before so I could hitch a ride on a flying alien surf board, he thought it would be useful to show Wanda how to do it."

"Nice."

"Anyway, Steve pushed _way _too much that I crashed straight onto Sam in the air and the momentum threw us all the way up there."

Bucky follows Natasha's fingers pointed at the training center's ceiling, fifteen meters from where the training recruits are, and finds a patch of roof that has a different paint color from the rest.

"Sam's jet pack got snagged in the roof so he was trapped there. Unfortunately, he lost his grip on me and the next thing I knew, I was falling fast. I saw Steve ran below, ready to catch me but it was Wanda who caught me mid-air -"

"With her magic fingers, right?"

Natasha laughs, "Yes. That's what it was, _magic_ fingers." She looks at Bucky and inspects his uniform as she continues, "Anyway, that was long time ago."

Bucky looks down on her and notices that she's hiding her face from her. "I wish you won't hide your tears from me."

Natasha stops fidgeting with a buckle on his vest and slowly looks up at him, her eyes indeed glazed with tears. She manages a true smile. "You're right. We've already seen each other naked before anyway so -,"

Bucky laughs. "You know I don't remember that. But, since I've finally seen you cry up close now, maybe we can work on that thing - _ouch_!"

Bucky stops when Natasha pinches his ear but still manages to say, "Sorry... you can't blame me though."

Natasha laughs and lets go of his ear. She then reaches for his hair and starts stroking it. It's almost on his shoulders. Bucky finds himself instinctively just lowering his head so Natasha can have a better reach.

"Turn around," Natasha tells him and follows without protest. He stands still as Natasha gathers his hair to the back and neatly ties it into sleek bun. "They all left and then it was just me. Thank you for being here." Then he feels Natasha's tap on his shoulders so he turns back around and when he does he sees Natasha with a huge satisfied smile on her face.

"Change of plans."

Bucky hears Hill's voice in the distance and he and Natasha turn to see her walking towards them but her head down reading something on her tablet. They wait for her to approach. Hill finally raises her head but abruptly stops. Bucky swears she looks a bit frightened for a fraction of a second.

Hill looks at them back and forth, her jaw slightly dropped at the sight of the two in their uniforms. _Shit. They look scary, _Hill admits to herself. _They're already scary on their own but the two of them together is whole new level of scary._

"What is it, Maria?" Natasha asks.

Hill snaps back to reality and gives them the news, "The meet up is _tonight_, not in three days. We have the location."

"Not a problem. The jet's ready?" Bucky asks.

It takes Hill a second to respond, "Yes." She shoots Natasha a questioning glance but Natasha only gives her a reassuring smile and nod. Hill eases up a bit and walks on, followed by Natasha and Bucky.

Normal planes usually take at least four and a half hours to travel from New York to Nevada but the Avengers quinjet is no ordinary beast. In a little over two hours, the quinjet finally enters Nevada airspace and with its stealth mode on, Natasha makes a graceful landing on the desert.

"One of these days, you're gonna have to let me fly one of these," Bucky says.

Before leaving the jet, Natasha ensures it's secured and even though it's evening already, keeps its stealth mode on. Fifteen minutes after landing, a motorcycle suddenly appears, gliding through the darkness and stillness of the desert, creating an additional cover of dust storm as its monstrous roar slices through the crisp silence of the night. Bucky maintains their speed and in no time reaches the paved interstate. Good thing Natasha tied his hair because he gets to enjoy the wind against his face even more. Natasha sits comfortably behind him, her hands around his waist.

After a few minutes they make a right turn at an intersection and finally reach their destination. The location Hill gave led them to a wrecking yard at the edge of the city. Bucky navigates the bike through junk piles and finds a perfect parking spot. It's a corner of the yard a little bit towards the back where old motorcycles and parts are stashed away.

"Nice. Instant camouflage," Natasha compliments him as they disembark from the bike.

Bucky leads the way. There are barely any lights in the vicinity and the moon's veiled by clouds which gave them instant cover but it also makes going through the yard a little challenging. There are too many scraps laying around that one wrong move and they might blow their cover. The place might as well be a graveyard because you can honestly hear a pin drop. According to Maria, the meetup is not until ten o'clock. It's only nine o'clock and in Bucky's handbook, that's not being early, that's being on time. They needed to be early so they can witness the show from beginning to end.

Bucky can't see what the yard really looks like but judging from the size and proximity of the car and junk piles around them, he is sure it looks like a metal labyrinth and it makes him think where in this maze of junk their targets plan to meet. As if the Universe is answering him, Bucky turns a corner and sees a clearing in front of them. It's not that big but it can fit at least five cars and there are passageways that are wide enough to fit an SUV.

Bucky feels Natasha's familiar tap on his shoulder and turns around. She points up at a car wreck sitting on top of other cars and junks two piles down from their position. Bucky agrees it's a good stake-out position and make their way to it. Bucky releases a huge sigh of relief when they finally get inside the top car successfully and quietly. The top car is a ghost of what used to be a sedan. The body is still in good form but its windshield and all of its windows are gone, its seats stripped of any upholstery. Bucky is really happy Natasha saw and chose this car because it's perfectly positioned that it has a perfect view of the clearing from the front seats. Natasha sits in the passenger seat while Bucky settles in the driver's seat. There are no more pedals and steering wheel.

Bucky looks at his watch and it reads nine thirty. Natasha taps him and gives him a small round item. He sees her sticking a same round item on the windshield frame on her side. He copies her on his side and waits as she taps on her tablet for a few seconds. Bucky watches in amazement as millions of nanobots from the round things start to link and loop together to form a windshield. It is tinted on the outside to hide them but looks so transparent from the inside.

"Cool, right?" Natasha says in a normal volume. Bucky's eyes widen in panic. "Don't worry, I programmed it to absorb sound too. But we can still whisper if you want," Natasha assures him.

Bucky nods and watches Natasha gets comfortable in her seat, careful enough not to rock their_ 'car boat'_ so much. He unconsciously ends up staring at her.

"Darling, you need to learn to resist the urge of staring at me. Otherwise, we won't get anything done," Natasha teases him.

Bucky chuckles silently and covers his embarrassed face with his hand. He looks at her and mouths '_sorry_'. He turns his attention again to the clearing in front of him and tries to re-run the possible scenarios they drew up of how the meet up can go.

"It's not complicated, James. Stick to the objective, stick to the plan."

"That's big coming from someone who disobeyed direct order and ended up -,"

Bucky stops, realizing what he has just said. He looks at Natasha with apologetic eyes.

"It's okay. It's true," Natasha replies but Bucky can feel she's a bit hurt. Bucky's heart sinks and suddenly wishes Steve is with them to smack him.

"When we get home, I'll let you hit me with a pillow for five minutes."

Natasha chuckles that gives Bucky a slight relief.

"Natalia, there's something I've been meaning to ask you," Bucky says softly. "This may not be the right time but -"

"We have time kill and I don't want to be bored and I don't to wake Steve for entertainment, so ask."

"Where do you think we stand? Emotionally speaking."

"You mean _romantically_?" Natasha asks bluntly and Bucky nods. "Well, what do _you _think?"

Bucky pauses for a while and lets out a long sigh. "I'm not sure. But I do know that we're different people now. Something I have realized with Steve too. We are not the same guys who went to war, and you and I are not the same people who fell in love with each other. Sometimes I wonder if that's a bad thing."

"No, it's not," Natasha says without hesitation. "We're survivors, James. We accepted change because we wanted to live. And because of that, we're _still here. We're here -_ in this old, smelly piece of junk."

Bucky laughs softly and says, "You're right. It's a good thing, especially for someone like me, because here I am getting a second chance."

"That's right."

Bucky smiles and lays out his hand for her which she accepts. He pulls it to his lips and kisses the back of it. He looks at her and ask, "But you wouldn't mind, do you?"

"What?"

"If I also take a second shot with you?"

"Why would I?" Natasha teases him.

Bucky makes a victory fist so vigorously that the car shakes a bit. They both immediately freeze until it stops.

"You'd always have a piece of my heart, James."

"I know."

They smile and stare at each other. Bucky may be in what Natasha says a piece of junk but he doesn't want to be anywhere else right at that moment. He feels like things are finally falling into their places and he is at the brink of a new life. Couple that up with what Sam said of searching for a new purpose and Bucky is so happy that this piece of junk is right there to be a part of that happiness.

After a few more minutes of comfortable silence, their targets finally start to arrive one by one. The first group of buyers arrives in a white Cadillac, with tinted windows and fancy spinning rims. "Look, they're as shiny as your metal arm. Most definitely bullet proof too," Natasha teases him.

The second group aren't as flashy as the first, arriving in a black nondescript SUV. "But it's still bulletproof," Natasha mutters under her breath as she looks through her binoculars, which also instantly records whatever registers in its lenses.

The third group is quite the party. Bucky and Natasha both first hear faint roars from a distance and then sees a bike gang of seven members approach. Gone is the silence they've enjoyed earlier. If the place really was a graveyard, the corpses would have fled by now.

"Damn, I wouldn't mind having one of those," Bucky says, ogling at the bikes. Natasha smiles at him.

The three parties wait in silent tension as they wait for their seller. It took a good twenty minutes before David Moss showed up. It bothered Bucky to see Moss simply emerge from one of the passageways.

"Did you hear any other vehicle come up?" he asks Natasha and she shakes her head in response. Bucky shakes off the uneasy feeling and focuses on the players finally on the _stage_. The bike gang has switched off their engines so the silence is back again and Bucky can hear the distant conversation below.

"Good evening gentlemen and thank you for being here tonight," Moss starts in a professional yet showy manner.

"Yeah, yeah, cut the bullshit. How are we going to do this?", one biker asks, his voice gruff.

Bucky sees Moss become annoyed but decides to move on anyway seeing that the other two parties agree with the impatient biker. "Simple. Outbid each other. Let's start at ten million dollars," Moss challenges them.

A bald guy in a crisp gray suit from the first party raises his hand and says, "Twelve million."

Bucky tries to follow the bidding, to see which party bid how much. It goes on for a few more minutes until the small guy in baggy pants and large jacket from the second party shouts, "One hundred twenty million dollars."

Bucky looks at the other parties anticipating another bid but no one dare to bid higher.

"120 million dollars... going once, going twice and - sold!" Moss says triumphantly and claps. He's the only one clapping.

"That's it, that's our cue. Natalia, launch tracking -," Bucky stops. "Did you hear that?"

"I think I've gone deaf after one hundred twenty million dollars," Natasha jokes as she prepares a tracking device and attaches a nanobot on top of it that turns into wings. It looks like an insect and it reminds her of Lang.

_Clink_!

"It's getting closer," Bucky observes. _Clink! Clang!_ Finally, Natasha hears it. They look at each other, their senses heightened but not surprised to still see other still calm. Natasha slowly turns to her window and sees it - a column of men in bullet proof vest, helmets, comms and guns snake through the passageway below. _What the hell is going on_, she silently asks herself.

She taps Bucky on the shoulder and signs with her fingers that he look below. Bucky does and sees the same thing at his side. He looks back at the scene in the clearing and sees Moss and the small guy in baggy pants finish the transaction. The first party is about to embark their fancy rides when the columns of armed men below break into a run and flood into the clearing, shouting, "Freeze, FBI".

Bucky sees more FBI agents emerge from other passageways, encircling all parties. "What the hell?"

"Well, considering things, I'd still call that mission accomplished," Natasha says playfully. But Bucky's not in the mood.

"What's the Fed doing here? They know we're working the case, right?" Bucky asks as he continues to watch the Feds make their arrests below. "If the Feds were planning to move in now, they should have tipped Fury then Fury wouldn't bother sending us here."

"One thing you should learn about your new boss is that our boys in blue don't really like him."

Bucky looks at Natasha as she starts to pack up. He narrows his eyes at her and says, "Yeah? Well, I think I don't like you very much right now either."

Natasha looks at him with a poker face. Bucky continues, "There's something you're not telling me."

"Are you asking me or telling me?" Natasha asks, trying to deflect Bucky's tension with rhetoric.

"Deny it then," Bucky challenges her. Natasha is taken aback by Bucky's attitude towards her right now. Yes, there's _one _detail in the situation she didn't tell him but she is sure she has given him no reason to be suddenly suspicious of her. And she didn't think that the detail was pressing enough to be shared. Normally, she ignores this type of hostility from people, believing that she doesn't owe anyone any explanation on why she does things the ways she do. But that changed with Steve.

She looks at Bucky and can't believe this is happening just right after their nice moment earlier. She can deny it, but she is _done _with the paranoia. She doesn't want this moment to haunt her for the rest of her life.

"No. I won't deny it," she says.

_* Author's Note: Natasha and Bucky's tandem is a force to be reckoned with and I've always wished the Marvel will finally put them together in the spotlight in the MCU. Just imagine and together and it's such a powerful sight, right? _


	9. Chapter 9 - Secrets and Surprises

Bucky raises his hands in defeat, releases an exasperated sigh as he slumps back on the driver seat, shaking the car a bit. Good thing the Feds are still having a field day below that they didn't notice it. Bucky is starting to get angry at himself for being a fool, thinking that things are starting to look up for him. But no. His first mission as Bucky Barnes is a bust, thanks to the woman he trusted to be on his side.

"For the record, there's only _one _detail I kept from you," Natasha says.

"Oh, just one. How _nice_," Bucky says with sarcasm.

"David Moss is an undercover agent for the FBI," Natasha blurts out.

"Oh, _now _you're willing to share. A little late, don't you think?"

Natasha rolls her eyes and gives up explaining because he is obviously too mad to _actually _listen.

Bucky watches from his seat as Natasha tries to control her own temper now, her eyes ahead watching the mess below. Good thing Bucky realizes that he is badly handling the crisis right now. Yes, he still believes he is the wronged party, but he admits that he reacted poorly, especially when Natasha made an effort to explain. So he becomes civil and breaks the silence.

"Is he a cop? And what did Fury mean when he said Moss would be taken care of?"

"No, he's a real lawyer. The Feds turned him and I don't think Fury knows he's undercover," Natasha replies coldly, eyes still ahead. "That's why I jumped into his case so I can keep an eye on him too. I don't know what Fury meant by what he said and I don't usually ask when he says that because he would have told us if he wanted us to know."

"So the Feds double-crossed Fury?"

"I wouldn't say it like that. Neither Fury nor the FBI share action plans with each other anyway. So there is a huge probability that the Feds don't even know we're here. Moss must have given them enough push to go with it. Moss is good, I'll give him that."

"How come?"

"Fury would have foreseen _this _if he had even the slightest whiff of who Moss really is. But he didn't, which means Moss has outwit and outdone the guy."

"So how come you know who he is?"

"I had an informant years ago, who, before we shipped overseas with a new identity, entrusted me with a list of names he thinks I need to keep an eye on. I cross-referenced each and found David Moss. And before you ask, no, Fury doesn't know about the list."

"Why didn't you tell you him or at least talked about Moss before we left?" Bucky says. Natasha turns to him and sees that he may sound and look civil, he is still angry inside.

"He is _undercover_, James. The fewer who knows about him, the more chances he has of surviving out there. I was hoping he'd walk away safely tonight and then make plans with Fury, like arranging something for him in southeast Asia where he can sit by the beach and drink coco water all day. I guess that plan is busted too."

"Maybe he'd still want that."

"No. It's too late now. The Feds most definitely offered him something already in exchange for - _this,_" Natasha says and points at the mass arrest going on in front of them.

Bucky finally sits up and looks down at the clearing. He can't believe his first assignment is a bust and he is sitting in a piece of junk. He glances at Natasha and sees she is wringing her fingers with a defeated look on her face. She is angry too - at herself.

"I'm not mad, Natalia."

"I know, but you're disappointed and that's worse."

"For the record, I'm not disappointed because my first assignment's a total disaster, I'm disappointed that you still can't seem to trust me."

Natasha doesn't respond anymore, there is nothing left for her to say after what he said. She just nods her head in understanding and swallows the lump in her throat.

Bucky feels like she's controlling every urge not to cry and he hopes she succeeds because it would hurt to see her in that state knowing that he is the one responsible. They spend the next minutes in silence, watching more vehicles with flashing lights start to park outside the yard. The Feds lead the suspects outside and load them in security trucks.

"There's nothing left here for us to do. Let's go," Natasha finally speaks after a while. Bucky agrees and they cautiously crawl out of the car and down their pile. They walk back to their bike but instead of turning on the engine, Bucky just pushes it first so as not to draw attention to themselves. He pushes it as Natasha gingerly follows behind until they exit the yard from the side opposite of the clearing. Bucky hops in followed by Natasha and the bike roars into life. They speed off on the highway but Bucky notices that Natasha doesn't hold onto him for support.

It is already one o'clock in the morning when they landed back in the Facility and they go straight for a debriefing with Fury and Hill. Needless to say, no one is happy. But Fury surprises everyone when he doesn't make a big deal out of it, saying that it is still a win in his book. He'll definitely have a word with the Feds but all is good._ Thank god,_ Bucky thinks to himself.

When the debriefing ended and they've filled out the necessary paperwork, all what Bucky wants to do now is sleep in _his _bed, back at the 'Rogers Ranch'. But he isn't sure how to get home since he can't order a jet and give Steve's location and he doesn't have a car. So he is secretly grateful when Natasha decides to forego immediate rest and drive them back home.

"Let's get out of this uniform and head out in twenty minutes," Natasha tells him, but in a cold tone that sent shivers down his spine. It's not scary, it's not angry, it's just - plain and expressionless. He opens his mouth to say thank you but closes it again because they're still not technically in speaking terms. Well, _he's _not in speaking terms with her. Good thing Natasha didn't seem to expect any reaction from him.

Obviously, the drive back home is difficult. The silence in the car and the silence of the outside world is driving Bucky crazy. Natasha hasn't spoken to him nor glanced at his direction since they've left the Facility, so once in a while he glances at her to check on her. She's tired, sleepy and she's going a little over the speed limit, which Bucky can tell is the manifestation of her emotional state. She doesn't look she's upset but she's transferring her distress to her Corvette.

It's already five o'clock in the morning when the Corvette swings into Steve's driveway. Bucky is happy to see that the lights are on._ She must have told him that we're on our way home,_ Bucky concludes. They're grabbing their bags from the back seat when the front door opens and out come Steve in his running clothes. He has a huge smile on his face that made Bucky forget the crappy night he had. Steve gives him a big hug and then a proud tap on his shoulder. He returns the warm gesture with a smile. From Bucky, Steve goes to Natasha and pulls her into a tight hug, Natasha almost disappearing from underneath his shoulders and arms. Natasha drops her bag and hugs him back tightly.

"Hey," Steve whispers in her hears while her face is still buried in his neck. After a few moments, Steve withdraws from the hug and picks up her bag. "I have a surprise for you."

"Steve," Natasha tries to protest, her voice exhausted and hoarse. "I'm really tired and -,"

"I know. That's why this surprise is perfect," Steve says with an excited smile.

Bucky envies Steve at that moment, seeing how good he is with Natasha. He looks at her who's trying to keep her eyes open to keep up with Steve's enthusiasm. Steve jogs back to the house followed by Natasha and Bucky. When they step inside the house, a wave of calm envelopes Bucky._ It sure feels good to be home_, he happily tells himself.

"Come on."

Bucky sees Steve heading for the stairs, motioning Natasha to follow. They reach the second floor and Steve goes to the first door from the stairs, the master suite. With an excited face, he opens the door and nods to Natasha to come and look inside. Natasha stops by the doorway and lets out a very audible gasp. Steve doesn't say anything but keeps his smile on as Natasha slowly steps inside the room. Bucky moves to the doorway to look and he too gasps a little.

The master suite's new floorboards are already in place, a single bed, a side table and lamp lean against the center wall with a window, to the right wall is a dresser and to the left beside the bathroom door is a vanity table. The furniture are second hand but still look good. Natasha walks to the dresser, to the vanity table then finally sits on the bed.

"It's not really finished yet. I'm scheduled to install the curtains and a ceiling lamp today. If you had come home in a few days, it would look _so _much better. But the bathroom's done, plumbing and all," Steve explains.

Natasha notices a photo frame on the bedside table and realizes it's a charcoal portrait of her, her curly hair just below her jawline. She turns to Steve with a pleased smile. "I can't remember how long it has been since my hair looked like this."

"I think more than five years ago."

"Of all the haircuts that you've seen me in, this is what stuck to you? Really?" Natasha asks with a smile.

"We were on a flying a city and I led you guys in a battle with no exit plans. And then you stood there, at the edge with me, and didn't blame me for anything. You just smiled at me, looked at the clouds and enjoyed the view."

Natasha's smile broaden at the memory and her eyes start to water. She stands up and walks to Steve for another hug. "Thank you," Natasha whispers and sniffs simultaneously against his chest.

Even though Bucky is still crushed by the events of last night, he is still thankful that Natasha is back home with them. She could have gone to Clint's, but no, she's here. But he is not going to pretend that everything is alright either, even now that Steve is around. He knows deep in his heart he cannot stay mad at her forever, but he is going to need time to process things. He is too disappointed both at Natasha and himself to deal with the rift now. So he puts on a brave face.

"Nice work, Steve," Bucky finally says and gives Steve a congratulatory pat on the back. Steve and Natasha break away from their hug.

"How about, I'll just go for a quick run while you guys freshen up then we can have breakfast?"

Bucky is ready to answer but Natasha beats him to it. "Thanks, Steve. This is really great, but it was a _long _night. I think I'd like a sleep first," Natasha apologetically tells Steve, her eyes still glazed with tears.

"Of course, sorry. Yeah. Welcome home," Steve says, realizing his over enthusiasm. He is about to pull the door close when Natasha stops him.

"Can we have chicken turkey sandwich for lunch, though?" Natasha asks Steve sweetly to make sure she didn't disappoint him, not after everything he has done for her. She already has one soldier disappointed in her, she can't afford to have one more of those.

Natasha breathes easily when Steve smiles and says, "That's a good idea. I'll take care of it."

Bucky watches as Steve closes her door. A part of him wanted to say something like '_sleep wel_l' or _'see you later_' and he almost had if he didn't feel a sudden ache in his chest when he saw Natasha's face before the door closed - she looked devastated. She has kept a poker face since they left Nevada and throughout their drive home, that Bucky has failed to gauge her true emotional state. He can see the devastation on her face which means that her cold and steely facade is shattered and gone. Bucky feels his pain has doubled now because he's angry at himself too.

"I assume you'd want to rest first, too?"

Bucky snaps out of his thoughts hearing Steve's voice. He immediately gives him a smile and nods. "Yeah, man. I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not and don't worry, I have a surprise for you too."

"Really?" Bucky asks in excitement.

"Yeah," Steve beams at him and pulls Bucky into a hug. "Welcome home, Buck."

Bucky waits as Steve disappears down the stairs before going inside his room adjacent to Natasha's. He throws his bag on the floor, removes his shirt and boots, and plops himself down on the bed, the springs making different sounds underneath him like out of tune piano keys. He tries to check if he can hear Natasha from the other side but he unconsciously drifts off to sleep, with his own sad heart beating the last thing he hears.

When Bucky opens his eyes again, the first thing he sees is blinding light. His window is open and the midday light is already pouring in. He groans as he adjusts to his surroundings. His alarm clock says eleven forty-five. He is surprised to have slept for at least five hours considering _everything_. He is so exhausted even though the only physically tiring thing they did was travel and he didn't even drive! But he knows exactly that his exhaustion is caused by something else and he is not sure how he is going to explain it if Steve notices it._ I'll cross that bridge when I get there_, Bucky tells himself.

Bucky stretches his entire body and jumps in the shower. After that, he brushes his teeth and looks at himself in the mirror. He notices his stubble and remembers how it felt when Natasha grazed her fingers on his chin. He liked every bit of sensation that shot throughout his body that night and he admits, he wishes to feel that again.

Bucky takes a deep breath and heavily sighs. "That's not going to happen anytime soon, jerk," he tells himself with a frown on his face. He dresses up and heads out of his room. He stops by Natasha's door, presses his ear on it and hears the shower running. He sighs again and goes for the stairs. He finds Steve preparing the table.

"I hope chicken turkey sandwich is okay with you. I forgot to ask you what you want -,"

"Of course. It's nothing like the hot dogs in Coney Island, but hey, you still make a mean chicken turkey sandwich!" Bucky exclaims with a reassuring smile.

"Good. I was worried there for a bit. Anyway, come, let me show you your surprise."

Bucky follows Steve to the backdoor, through the backyard and finally to the garage which is detached from the house. It used to be a barn but is now a gym and where Steve's SUV and bike are stashed away. Steve opens its roll up doors and reveals an old Harley Davidson bike that looks like it has just been saved from the junk yard. It suddenly reminded Bucky of the pile of motorcycles in the Nevada wreck yard, his crappy night, and Natasha crying.

"It's vintage. 1950s-ish. The engine still works but needs a little tuning up. I know it's banged up and I thought you might want to put your back into it and have your own!" Steve explains, a huge proud smile on his face.

Bucky pulls Steve into a hug. "Thanks, man."

"Besides, I thought it's about time you have a hobby," Steve says with a chuckle.

"You're probably right," Bucky responds with his own laughter.

They hear the back door squeak open and see Natasha emerge from it. She's in a pair of sweatpants and plain t-shirt. She's barefoot but still walks out into the porch with a faint smile on her face. Bucky remembers her face last night and so his heart flutters a bit to see her smiling again. She has dark circles underneath her eyes but she's still beautiful.

"So you finally told Barton where you are," she says.

Steve looks at her not sure how she knew that, since Clint promised he won't tell her that he's been at the Rogers' Ranch. Natasha sees the question on Steve's face.

"Little rusty there didn't drive himself all the way here. It has been sitting in Clint's garage for seven years."

Steve raises his arms in surrender and laughs. "Alright. You caught me. I saw it there years ago and I asked if he'd be open to selling to it. He said he wouldn't think of selling it except to me. So he came up here two days ago with little rusty here and even helped in your room."

Natasha's smile widen a bit more as Steve continues. "It looked so sad just hiding out in his barn so here it is!"

Bucky lays a hand on Steve's shoulders and says, "Thanks, man, really. This is great!"

"You're welcome," Steve replies as they head back to the house. "Let's have lunch!"

When Bucky reaches the porch, he steals a glance at Natasha hoping to see up close the smile she had on moments ago but his heart sinks to see that Natasha has put on her poker face as soon as he reached the porch stairs. He sighs, feeling a bit idiotic about it and follows Steve inside the house.

Bucky is the first to sit by the table as Natasha and Steve finish setting the table. He and Natasha haven't said anything to each other yet and he is sure Steve will notice it soon and then the questions will begin. He knows that's going to happen but he wants it to be later than sooner. He hasn't sorted his thoughts and emotions yet. He watches Natasha laughs with Steve like she normally does and he realizes he misses to be at the receiving end of that.

"Alright!" Steve says as he sets down condiments beside Bucky's plate and sits at the end of the table. Natasha sits opposite Bucky, setting a bottle of pickles on her way down. Bucky suddenly realizes that he is indeed hungry, as a matter of fact, he is starved. He can't believe that the last meal he had was in the quinjet on their way to Nevada which was at least twelve hours ago. He splatters his sandwich with cheese sauce. He doesn't know what people put on their chicken turkey sandwiches but Bucky Barnes puts cheese sauce on _all _of sandwiches. He takes a huge bite.

"Come on, Buck. Take it easy," Steve says and chuckles at Bucky's bulging cheeks.

Natasha however takes a normal bite of her sandwich, puts it back down on her plate and stares at the window overlooking the driveway as she chews.

"How is it?" Steve asks.

"Huh?" Natasha turns to Steve and continues with a rushed smile, "oh, it's amazing. Thanks." She then takes another bite and stares back at the window.

Steve turns to Bucky and sees him focused on his sandwich, a little _too _focused that he keeps his eyes on nothing else but it. Then Steve takes another look at Natasha and realizes she has been avoiding eye contact with anyone since this morning. Steve's smile disappears. He drops his sandwich on his plate, props his elbows and forearms on the table and asks, "So, that's the deal, huh? I have to _always ask_ _first _before you two start talking to me."

Bucky looks up at Natasha but Natasha keeps her eyes on her plate.

"So, what happened?"


	10. Chapter 10 - Sandwiched

Steve waits patiently as he looks back at forth at Bucky and Natasha. He was too excited and happy this morning when they arrived that he didn't notice anything else other than the fact that they're back home in one piece, which were the only two things he was praying for the whole time they were gone.

Steve is just now remembering and realizing the things he missed earlier - Bucky's indifference to Natasha's surprise and then there was Natasha's trembling body when they hugged. It finally hits him that Natasha's hug _did _feel different, it felt like it's a cry for help. Steve assumed they were just exhausted why they were acting like that but now that Bucky and Natasha's face to face, Steve has realized that things are not good between them. He leans back in his chair and relaxes his hands on his lap to appear less imposing in hopes it will be much easier for the two to open up. It's Natasha who breaks the silence.

"It was supposed to be just recon. Watch the exchange, tag the new target with the item, report to Fury and wait for new orders," Natasha says calmly, her green eyes connecting with Steve's blue ones. "But the Feds crashed the party, made arrests and secured the item."

"_So_, it was not the ending you've planned but still a good one, right? I'm sure Fury looks at it that way too. So, what seems to be the problem?"

It's Bucky's turn to talk, his eyes never leaving Natasha. "It turned out that the first target was an _undercover _agent who made _plans _with the Feds _who in turn _decided _not _to inform Fury." He's leaning back on his chair now, tipping it backwards, wobbling on its back legs as his hands contemptuously crossed on his chest.

"I still don't see what the -,"

"She _knew_!" Bucky exclaims and stands up, almost knocking the chair to the floor, taking Steve by surprise. "She _knew _he was undercover and _didn't _tell me!" Somewhere in Bucky's head is an ashamed version of himself because this is not how he planned this conversation would be like. But it is what it is now because he lost his cool.

Steve looks back at Natasha and meets her green eyes again. He can see and he is sure Natasha's stone wall is now _up _and she has just pushed all her emotions behind it. He admits, the cold detached Natasha is his least favorite version of her. He can also tell that she's deliberately addressing only him because Bucky's too agitated to be reasoned with. He doesn't verbally asks her but he and Natasha have been in this situation many times before that she knows exactly what he is asking with that particular look in his eyes and arched eyebrows.

"Yes," Natasha says flatly. "He is _undercover _and if things went the way we planned, he would just be walking away from the place and he'd slip back into his anonymity and whatever safety net the Feds arranged for him and _we, _we would be focused on our new targets. There was _no way _I could have known he has made a deal with the Feds."

Steve keeps his eyes on hers and relaxes to see truth from them. He is thankful and proud at the same time to be one of the few people on earth who can sort the truths from Black Widow's lies. After a few moments, Steve nods, convinced. Bucky doesn't see it because Natasha's facing Steve, but she gives Steve a small, quick smile of thanks before slowly standing up.

"I'll be in my room," she softly says to Steve and lays a hand on his shoulder before heading for and disappearing above the stairs.

"She can't just walk away like that," Bucky complains.

"Sit down, Buck and please calm down."

Bucky lets out a huge sigh and obeys. "I _am _calm, okay?"

"Look, I've been in your shoes -,"

"I bet! I could only imagine how frustrated you used to be."

"A lot," Steve remarks, but surprises Bucky with a chuckle. "It's actually _the _biggest hurdle I had to overcome before we found our _groove _together. I really liked having her with me on the field early on. She has everything you can ask for for a partner - agility, intelligence, grace under pressure - so when I pinpointed that our problem is trust, I worked on it."

"You worked it out? Just you?"

"Can you ever imagine just asking a person with trust issues to blindly trust you? That's impossible so I asked for a little help. I went to Barton thinking maybe he can give me tips on how to be a person Nat trusts."

"What did he tell you?"

"Nothing. _But, _he gave me Nat's file, and before you ask, _no_, there was no mention of what happened to the two of you. Like what she said, she removed a few sheets before turning it over to Clint."

Bucky's eyes widen in shock and curiosity. "Does she know?"

"She doesn't say it but I wouldn't put it past her if she already does."

"What did you find out?"

"A lot. She lived through hell, Buck," Steve says sympathetically. "Tell me one thing you remember us doing when we were _ten _years old?"

Bucky thinks for a moment, a naughty smile appears on his face then says, "We used to leave small firecrackers on Mr. Siegel's front door. We would knock then run and hide. Then he would open the door just in time for the firecrackers to go off."

Steve doesn't share his amusement at the memory. He just nods his head, looks at Bucky and finally says, "At ten years old, Natasha had to kill a man."

Whatever amusement Bucky had on his face because of the firecracker memory is now gone. He looks at Steve with denial in his face. He raises his eyebrows at him as if telling Steve that he is waiting for him to take it back and reveal that it is just a joke. But Steve remains serious, his eyes reflecting pity, sadness and anger. Bucky lets out a long sigh and scratches his head.

"We all know in her line of work, lying is an essential skill," Steve continues, "but I realized, when Nat lies to me or to people she _cares _about, it's not necessarily intentional, she just can't help it most of the time."

"I don't understand."

"Learning of the things she had to do and live through in that place, I bet she dealt with the trauma in the only way I imagine a young girl could have - she comforted and told herself over and over again that everything is going to be okay. I sometimes even think that she probably created stories in her head to escape the truth of her life. She kept herself sane and survived that place with the help of the lies she told herself, up to the point that lying eventually became an instinct, _not _a choice. And being in a line of work where surviving is the only object, just imagine how that made lying even more necessary and most of the time, justified."

"_Damn_. I screwed up -,"

"There was no way you could have known, Buck. That's why I'm sharing this with you now because I want you to have what I have with her."

"I blew this out of proportion, didn't I?" Bucky asks and Steve nods. "I guess I took it hard because it's _her_. You know? Probably the only other person other than you who I least expected this from."

"That's understandable."

"So what do I do now? Right now she believes that I'm disappointed in her."

"Did she use that word? _Disappointed_?" Steve asks and Bucky nods. "She can handle angry people, Buck, she just ignores them. One thing that rattles her to the core is to be seen as a _disappointment_. As kids they were told that when they disappoint, they die."

Bucky shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "Wait, she doesn't think I'm going to hurt her or anything, right?"

"No. But she's scared, alright. Scared she'll _lose _you."

Bucky is too confused and overwhelmed to think straight. But he knows he is furious at himself and he knows he doesn't want to lose Natasha either just because of his misplaced righteousness and pride.

Steve understands what Bucky's going through but Bucky has to get pass this by himself. He has already given him a little clarity but the rest is up to him. He gives Bucky a comforting smile and an encouraging shake on the shoulder. Bucky nods in understanding.

Natasha didn't come out of her room the entire afternoon. By dinnertime, knowing that she still won't join them downstairs, Steve leaves a plate of spaghetti by her door. After dinner, Steve puts on a movie, hoping that Bucky can forget about his dilemma even for a couple hours. But halfway through the movie, Bucky says goodnight and goes to his room. It isn't the homecoming scenario Steve imagined for Bucky's first mission but, it is what it is and they _all _will have to deal with it, _just _like a family.

At around two o'clock in the morning, in the middle of a deep sleep, Steve becomes aware that he is slowly waking up, like his brain is swimming upwards to the surface, one level at a time. For a while he doesn't know why he is waking up and then he realizes it's because of a smell. He opens his eyes and finds out that he is right. He _is _smelling her.

He sees Natasha sitting criss-cross beside him, facing towards the foot of the bed, hiding her face from him. She smells like summer and he remembers she has this lotion that has the fragrance of mandarin oranges. He rubs his eyes for a second and shifts under his covers to lie on his back.

"Sorry to wake you up," Natasha apologizes without looking at him. "Thanks for bringing me dinner earlier."

"No problem."

A comfortable silence fills the room for a while. Steve doesn't have to ask why she is there because he already knows - she needs to talk. It is just really sometimes tough for her to breakout from her stone cold emotional walls so he learned to be patient. She will talk, she just needs time. Finally, she speaks up.

"What else did you learn from my file?"

Steve has to smile at that, realizing but not surprised that she heard everything he and Bucky talked about at lunch. He remembers hearing a door open and close and concludes that she didn't really go inside her room and instead, like a real spider, she quietly walked back to the top of the stairs to listen in.

"Well, lots of things actually," Steve says, knowing that there's no point in denying it. "That's where I learned you like the rain."

"What makes you say that?"

"Your offense-punishment record is very fascinating," Steve chuckles and continues, "but I noticed that eight out of ten times you were punished, the punishment was sending you to stand in the rain for at least an hour, no matter how cold. Those times you received that kind of punishment was because you broke petty rules or did equally petty stuff. You probably saw it was raining so you locked one of the girls in the bathroom," Steve laughs softly and playfully pokes her side.

Natasha doesn't fully turn to face him but looks over her shoulder and says, "She liked stealing our bread during lunch for her midnight snacks. What else?"

"I know why you don't really like chocolates. Because every time you aced a test or training, you received a chocolate as a reward and you hated the thought that you get rewarded for doing horrible things, maybe like injure another student to be the last one standing?"

"I like gummy bears," Natasha whispers, almost shyly.

"_And _jelly beans," Steve says with huge smile on his face.

Natasha finally turns around and faces him. Her eyes red and swollen from crying.

"What else did you discover about me, mister detective?"

"Why you rather give Lila a stuffed animal than a doll. Because those little perfect dolls remind you of how you were beaten and broken to be perfect little things, how you were forced to be someone you didn't particularly like. You don't want Lila to think that being a little perfect doll is all she can or should be."

And with that, Natasha's wall crumble. Tears stream down her cheeks again and she almost stops breathing as she tries not to make a sound.

"That one too. You don't make a sound when you cry because you used to cry at night and you can't let anyone hear or see you. The last time you did cry out loud, they put a muzzle on you for a week."

Natasha starts wiping her tears away until all Steve can see and hear are stains on her cheeks and soft whimpers. Another thing Steve would always be proud of aside from earning the right to wield Captain America's shield, is earning the right to see Natasha Romanoff in moments like this. And _if _and _when _he does end up with a wife, she must be ready to handle the intimacy of Steve and Natasha's relationship.

Natasha crawls closer to him and Steve pulls the covers open so she can slip underneath. She rests her head on his arm then curls to his side. Steve pulls the covers on her and wraps his free hand around her so he can rub her back to calm her down.

"I didn't mean to lie to him," Natasha says softly in between soft sobs that sound more like hiccups.

"I know and he knows it now too. It just depends now who between you will make the _first move_."

"What, to apologize?"

"Yeah, to apologize, of course. What else do you think am I talking about? Wait, _did _something else happen between you? " Steve asks, confused all of a sudden.

"Well, we _did _talk about our past and where we're now -"

"_And_?"

"_And _we agreed we're not the same people and it's best that our past remains there."

"Oh, poor guy. I really think he likes you."

"Oh, he _does_, that's why he asked if we can have a second shot at it," Natasha quips, a slight teasing tone on her voice now but still sniffling.

Steve leans back a little and looks down at her face, while Natasha arches her head back and looks up to meet Steve's face.

"_And_?" Steve asks, filled with anticipation.

"_And _\- anything is possible," Natasha finally says with a knowing smile.

They both laugh and Natasha buries her face in Steve's side. Steve then asks, "Do I have to start feeling guilty and awkward lying in bed with you like this?"

"No, silly. If he wants he come here too and -,"

"Nat, _no_."

"I'm kidding, Rogers! I can't believe you easily got over my lying but can't still handle something like _that_."

Steve laugh and kisses the top of her head.

"Thanks, Steve."

_* Author's note: I don't know exactly the details of Natasha's Red Room years, so the things I wrote here about that, pretty much like this entire fanfic, are based on my assumptions and imagination. _


	11. Chapter 11 - Family at Last

The next morning, Natasha jolts up awake, her muscles tensed.

"What? Bad dream?" a voice beside her says. Recognizing Steve's voice, Natasha relaxes and rubs the back of her neck.

"I don't know, I felt a hand at the back of my neck and I thought someone's grabbing me or something."

Steve chuckles. "That would be me. You kind of rolled out of my arm and settled on my hand," Steve explains and starts stretching his arm and fingers.

"Sorry", Natasha says and falls back on the mattress and closes her eyes again.

Steve's phone buzzes and reads a message from the President's Chief of Staff. After sending his reply he puts the phone down and takes a deep breath. He turns to his side and sees Natasha.

"You can't go back to sleep. It's your turn to make breakfast," Steve says as he gets out of bed. He hears Natasha groans. He puts on his running shoes and continues, "I need you to also help me setup. I'm having a video conference with the president at lunch. Secure lines and what not. Come on, Get up."

"I thought you guys always meet in person," Natasha asks, without opening her eyes.

"We do. But I'm not leaving this house until you and Bucky patch things up. I don't need you guys wrecking it before I even finish all the repairs."

Natasha groans in complaint again and pulls the covers on her. But Steve totally peels it off and sweeps her up like a bride. Then in one swift and effortless motion, Steve hurls her on his shoulder like a sack of potato. It was abrupt and a little forceful that the momentum caused her nose to smash against his lower back. "Ouch!"

"Did someone ever tell you that you're heavier than you actually look?" Steve jokes.

"Yes. _You _did. Many times before," Natasha replies as she rolls her eyes. Steve chuckles and heads out of the room. Natasha is still sleepy to be in a fighting mood so she lets him carry her like that and even lets her arms dangle further down, surrendering them to gravity's pull. They're finally in the hallway and Steve stops by Bucky's door.

"You are _not _knocking on that door," Natasha orders him.

"I'm not. _You _are," Steve replies. "_Knock _or I'll use you to knock that door down."

"You know I can still take you down even in this position, right?

"I know. Just knock," Steve laughs softly and adjusts Natasha on his shoulders making her whimper in slight pain as her stomach bounces on his hard shoulders. After giving Steve a last hiss of disapproval, she bangs her fist on the door twice then goes back to dangling her upper body like a rag doll.

Two seconds later, the door opens and Bucky's confused face greets Steve. "Ready for our run?" Steve asks him. Bucky looks at Natasha, looking almost lifeless as she dangles behind Steve. He doesn't say anything but turns to Steve with a huge question mark on his face. "She's too sleepy to get out of bed. She's fine. Let's go."

Bucky watches as Steve heads to the stairs, Natasha involuntarily swaying with Steve's steps. He has seen weird things but Steve and Natasha's relationship still weird him out sometimes. Downstairs, Steve finally puts her down. She finds her balance as soon as her feet touch the floor but doesn't flinch an inch, not even bothering to push the hair that has fallen on her face.

"Make your mushroom omelette. I miss that," Steve tells her as he heads for the door without waiting for Bucky. And when Steve disappears out the door, Bucky instantly realizes that Steve purposely dashed out without him so he can be alone with her. He slowly turns to Natasha and finds her already looking at him. They stare at each for a while, Natasha through the hair strands that obstruct her view, both trying to get a sense of each others' mood. Bucky can't tell what she is thinking because of her hair so he reaches for her face and pushes her unruly hair into place. Trickles of bliss shoot through his fingers when his skin makes contact with hers. After brushing a handful of strands behind her ear, he now at last can see her green eyes again.

Whatever emotion her face lacks, her eyes have them all and she is letting him through to see it all - her sadness, her anxiety, her excitement, her teases, and her apology.

Bucky's heart swell in happiness and relief. He responds with the same intense stare, and lets her through his ocean eyes to let her know how stupid he has been and how sorry he is for causing her pain. Bucky's lips slowly spread into a smile, completing his apology with a dash of his charm. His face finally breaks into happiness as he sees Natasha's signature smirk. _Yes, finally! _Bucky exclaims internally.

"Okay," Bucky says softly and nods at her.

"Yeah, we're okay," Natasha says in return, her voice soft and sweet. "Go! Don't let that guy outrun you all the time."

Bucky smiles at her for at least a second more before heading for the door.

During lunchtime, Bucky finds himself fixing sandwiches for them. It is Steve's turn but he has business with the president and Natasha is helping him set up their video call. He can hear Natasha explains a few technical things whenever Steve asks.

Bucky realizes that even through Hydra did train him well as a weapon, he still lacks knowledge and tricks on a few more things to be a good agent _now. _He knows Fury would expect more from him than just his expertise in guns and assassinations plots. Thankfully, he has Natasha. It's Natasha's turn be his teacher. The thought brings a naughty smile on his. He finishes the sandwich and brings Steve's into his office.

"You can stay if you want," Steve tells them.

Natasha raises an eyebrow at him. "Do you want to give the president a heart attack when he learns that an ex-Russian spy and former Hydra agent were _listening in _during his _highly-classified _conversation with you?"

Bucky laughs and Steve says, "He won't know."

"One of his first questions will be to know if you're alone. And being the Steve Rogers that you are, you won't be able to lie, especially to him."

"Of course I can. Wanna bet?"

"Sure. You do my chores for three days," Natasha says with a huge smug smile on her face. Steve accepts the challenge. Soon, the computer is buzzing and the president's face is splashed across the screen.

"Mr. President."

"Captain Rogers. How are you? Are you alone?"

Steve's inside churn.

Bucky holds out a laugh and immediately walks out of the room. Natasha gives Steve a _'I told you so'_ look before closing the door behind her. She walks to the kitchen just in time for Bucky to hold out a plate of sandwich to her.

"We can eat that on the road," Natasha says and heads for the backdoor. She sees Bucky's questioning face and adds, "grocery run and I'm planning to ask Steve to cook something fancy."

She disappears behind the door and Bucky follows her to the garage. She turns to him, "Wanna drive?"

Bucky smiles in excitement but realizes that her Corvette is in the front driveway and they're in the back. He sees Natasha climbs Steve's SUV and it made sense that they're bringing the SUV instead of the Corvette. The nearest grocery store is in a town forty-five minutes away and they'll draw attention if they ride in in a fancy sports car but will definitely blend in in Steve's SUV. Bucky goes up to the driver's seat, places the sandwiches still on their plate, on the dashboard and catches the keys Natasha throws at him. _She must have swiped it at Steve's office earlier,_ Bucky assumes.

Natasha retrieves the plates on the dashboard and Bucky turns the engine to life. Soon they are on the highway, enjoying their sandwiches, the scenery outside, the fresh air and most importantly the company. Bucky finds it hard to explain, but patching things up with Natasha didn't just give him relief. It gave him peace, which is something he has _always _wanted, and purpose, which until recently he didn't realize is something he wants. _Purpose_, Bucky smiles at the sound of it and he has never felt more alive as he looks forward to discovering what that might be.

Natasha notices his smile and teases him, "I know what you're thinking."

Bucky quickly glances at her and waits for her to continue. "Me," Natasha jokes.

Bucky chuckles a bit because she's not technically wrong. He doesn't say anything but gives her a knowing smile.

After fifty minutes they finally enter the town and park at the grocery store. "You don't look one hundred years old but you _do _drive like one," Natasha teases him as they head inside.

Natasha whips up a grocery list from her pocket and they start pushing their cart around the store. There are many people but not enough to make the agents feel wary. They've gotten most of the dry goods on the list and they make their way to the frozen section. But halfway through there, they pass by the Pet and Outdoor section and see that a local animal shelter has organized an adoption drive for the day. Without hesitation, Bucky walks up the stacks of pet carrier and starts to peer into them one by one. Then he points at one and the organizer retrieves the animal inside for him. He takes it and turns around to face Natasha. Natasha laughs softly seeing him holding a black cat to his chest.

"She kind of looks like you, doesn't she?"

Natasha raises an eyebrow at him and smirks, "Really?"

Natasha leaves their cart to the side and surveys the other carriers with cats. She points at one and the organizer gets the animal for her. She turns to Bucky.

"Well this one is definitely you," Natasha says, cuddling a white, grumpy looking cat.

"I _can_ _totally _see that," Bucky says and laughs. "Let's adopt them. Oh, wait. Steve doesn't have asthma anymore, right? He won't mind, right?"

Natasha walks closer to him and whispers, "No, he won't. And the man had aliens and robots in the same breathing space as him, so don't worry, he _absolutely _can handle cat hairs."

The organizer immediately starts on the paperwork with them but Natasha gets distracted by an animal in the playpen. Unlike the other animals in it who are hyper and tossing around, this one just sits there, looking at her with its huge glassy eyes. She approaches it and squats down to its level.

"We'll take this one too," she tells the organizer.

Bucky looks at her and sees a golden retriever beside her.

"He looks like Steve, right?" Natasha asks playfully but she sees Bucky is not convinced.

An idea hits her and exclaims, "Wait, I'll prove it." She walks away and disappears behind the shelves. When she returns, she puts a plastic toy soldier helmet on the dog and then a kid's goggles around the helmet. She turns to Bucky, "Can you see it _now_?"

Bucky bursts out laughing at the dog. It does remind him of Steve, back when he rescued him and hundreds more wearing only his prop helmet and goggles. "Absolutely! Yes, let's bring him home too."

The organizer is clearly confused at what the two are talking about but is more than happy to send the fur-animals to a permanent home. After finishing the paperwork they go on to buy provisions for their new pets - food, bed, litter, collars, leash, bowls, toys, etc. - something Natasha finds surprisingly fun to do. They are so enamored by their new babies that they almost forgot that they still have to finish their shopping. By the time they hopped back into the SUV, almost three hours have gone by and still with forty-five minutes of drive home, it will be already late afternoon when they pull into the driveway.

Finally, Bucky pulls into the driveway and drives straight to the garage. As soon as the SUV is parked, they start to unload groceries. The backdoor opens and Steve comes out. "Where have you been?"

"The grocery store, you knew that," Natasha replies.

"You took your time," Steve teases her.

"Well, we got held up," Natasha says with a smile as Bucky walks to them with the two cat carriers. Steve doesn't say anything at first but Bucky relaxes when Steve peers into the carriers and greets the animals.

"We got one for you too," Bucky says.

"Let me guess, you two got the black and white so you got me the orange one," Steve jokes.

"Hmmm... you're not wrong, not really. But I wouldn't say orange, more of gold."

And right on cue Natasha opens the SUV's backseat door and lets the golden retriever out. Bucky's heart filled with happiness to see Steve's reaction when the dog barked and ran to them.

Steve kneels down and the dog immediately greets him with kisses and licks.

"No offense, but you're not a cat person, Steve," Bucky says.

Steve tries to say something but the dog bombards him with licks and kisses. It jumps on him and Steve stumbles backwards as the dog continues to attack him with cuteness. The dog can't stop wagging its tail in every direction.

One hour later, after they've stashed the groceries away, Bucky and Natasha take care of dinner. Both Steve and the dog are too happy to have been introduced to each other that they can't stop playing. Unlike Bucky and Natasha's cats who, after receiving head scratches and cuddles from them for a few minutes, started to leisurely roam around the house before settling down by the backdoor, both sprawled on a rug, asleep.

"Let's eat!" Bucky announces as he sets down a fresh-from-the-oven lasagna on the dining table. Natasha comes in with plates and utensils. Steve enters with the dog at his heels and announces, "It's decided. His name is Dodger."

"Right! As in the Brooklyn Dodgers! Swell!" Bucky agrees.

"You mean the_ \- Los Angeles_ Dodgers, _right_?" Natasha playfully teases them.

The two guys look at her. Bucky shakes his head as he sits down but Steve says, "You _promised _you'd never bring that up again, _right_?"

Natasha smiles coyly and says, "You started it."

"You know what, Romanoff -,"

"Fine. I _promise _never to bring up the _Los Angeles Dodgers_ ever again," Natasha says with a smile.

"What about the cats? What did you name them?"

"Oh, that's Widow Cat and Winter Cat," Bucky announces, looking pleased with himself.

Steve looks at Natasha, "You good with that?"

"Yeah, it's cute," Natasha says with an approving smile.

"Appropriate too," Steve adds and starts eating.

Bucky can't help but beam with happiness. He is with people he cares about and who he knows care for him too. He and Steve are no longer remnants of the past, but men of present who have found their place and hold the future with anticipation.

Bucky knows his past has defined who he is today and he is grateful to have the coming days to help him define who he will be in the future. He is not sure yet how exactly, but he has a good feeling that Natasha will play a crucial part in that. She appreciated him in the past, she has accepted him now in the present and hopefully, she will love him in the future.

And maybe, they can find redemption in each other.

THE END.

_*Author's Note: That's it! I hoped you liked it! I won't probably write another fanfic until Endgame comes out. But I'm sure a lot of us will continue writing after that movie, crafting stories on how we can keep these characters alive beyond the MCU narrative. I look forward to reading what you guys would come up soon!_


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